dogs go to the market…twice in three days

For the uninitiated, “patti chanthakku poyapole” is a popular saying in the Malayalam language (which literally translates to “like the dog went to the market”). It means that you go all the way to someplace with great expectations, only to return empty-handed or not having met your goal.

Like how my brother and I went to Nandi Hills two days back, and how we went to the Jawaharlal Nehru Planetarium today. Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

dogs go to the market…take 1

Going to Nandi Hills has been an almost-5-year-plan for me. After many many plans and postponed plans and I-think-it’ll-never-happen moments, my brother and I finally set off to Nandi Hills. Gross miscalculation of time, I must say

We left home by about 3 (it’ll only take an hour-and-half to reach there, we thought) and cruised along on the Pulsar. Come 4.30, no sign of Nandi Hills Come 5, we see it all covered in fog at a great distance away. And slowly, it kept coming nearer and nearer. Finally, at 5.50pm, we reached the ticket counter. And the guy there, rather pissed off with us, said, “Hathu nimisha, ashtte. Bega banni.“

What the %$#@!!! I thought they closed at 6.30. Baaaaaaah. My brother did not understand a thing, and while I translated it, he was furious that the guy almost ‘barked’ at us We quickly walked in, quickly walked out, had a hot cup of chai and reached back home at 8.20pm.

So much for going to Nandi Hills!

Well, if it’s any solace (for my brother, that is), this is my brother’s 3rd trip…and he’s making good progress. The first time, by the time he reached the foot of Nandi Hills, it was so dark, he didn’t bother going any further. The second time, he did not even get t see the guy at the ticket counter (who had left for the day), and this last time, he managed to get in. Hopefully, the next time, we’ll go muchhhhh earlier. It’s 6 o clock a bit toooo soon these days!

dogs go to the market…take 2

So, like most of the plans the brother and I make, going to the planetarium was another long-pending one. We set off early this time, by about 11.20am to reach there in time for the 12.30pm show. Roughly 8kms, ample time! So I suggest a route, my brother suggests another one…and we go along the one he suggested. Halfway there, he turns around to ask me “Why did I come this way?” Baaaah! And we go round and round, miss most of the correct roads and finally do reach the planetarium (after having travelled over 12-14 kms ) — in good time, still. We reach there by about 12.10!! Awesome. Or so, we thought.

We parked the bike and rushed to the entrance. The guard there said the tickets had to be bought from the counter near the gate. So we rushed back to the gate…and the guard there said “No tickets. All full. Next show at 4.30. Half hour munche banni. Ticket sigathe.”

We walked a bit more around in circles, scrutinised the surroundings and realised that the Priyadarshini (everything’s in a name, you see ) Planetarium at Thiruvananthapuram is way, way, WAY better And no, this is not the case of the kittaatha munthiri pulikkum*, I swear. You have to go to both these places to know the difference. Allellum oru postil randu malayalam pazhamchollukal paadilla**

So there! Dogs go to the market…twice in three days I have a feeling we saw a smirk on Pumbaa’s face both times we came back from the market

Many more markets to go to…Skandagiri, Mekedattu, Shivanasamudra and Majuli (where we plan to go do the ‘ho ho ho’ tribal dance and learn mask-making ).

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*The Malayalam version of the sour grapes saying.
**Even otherwise, in the same post, two Malayalam sayings won’t sing can’t be used.

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Oh, by the way… Merry Christmas, folks

the mobile phone and me…

…don’t really get along too well.

I don’t like talking on the phone much…and if you have a problem with that, I’m sorry I can’t help you. Well, perhaps I can (by attending your call), but I don’t plan to   I guess I owe many people this explanation (though very few of these people read this blog ; the other option is to text them all. And they may call back. Uh oh…)

I really am not avoiding you, okay? I’m just avoiding your call. Ouch — no, I’m just avoiding having to talk on the phone. Leave me a text message, leave me an offline chat, leave me a mail. I’ll respond, almost instantly, unless i’m sleeping, or unless the phone is like hidden under the cushion, pushed int here by the naughty lil’ Pumbaa. But if I see an SMS, I WILL respond; I cannot guarantee that about a missed call you leave me I just don’t like the mobile phone much.

Not that I hate it or don’t use it. Just that I don’t use it for what it is meant. A mobile phone, for me, is essentially just a replacement for Gmail chat I am a person of few words…I talk very little even face-to-face and I generally prefer “talking” to someone through “chat”or “sms”. And on chat/sms, I can go on for hours together

You wont believe it, but I ALWAYS rely on a text message to communicate with someone, before having to actually call that person up. Including emergency situations like being on a busy highway, at the signal, and wondering if we must turn left or right to reach that person’s house And when I’m blasted for being so dumb, I dial the number, press “Call” and instantly stick the phone to Suraj’s ear (or whoever else is driving)!

There is just ONE person (yes, person) with whom I can actually talk non-stop, for hours. And that is Pumbaa Well, he can’t talk back, and one of us has to do that. So, I happily do it

There are very few people with whom I can talk non-stop, for hours, on the phone. One of them is Amma. The other is my brother. Then there are a couple of close friends. Recently, after a rather long conversation (if I may call it that), Hobbes asked me if I were “the same girl who hates talking on the phone?” Well, that did leave me mumbling for a bit.

And I can’t tell you just how many times I’ve got into trouble with Suraj for never picking up his calls. Well, how will I know he’s calling when the phone is (eternally) on silent mode? [Who puts it on silent mode? Uh...I do.] Even before getting married, this was a constant problem. I guess it was the ONLY reason for our quarrels. He would call, I wouldn’t pick up. He’d call 10 more times. Then he would try my mom’s number, but I’d be at the aunt’s place. Then he’d call the aunt’s number — but by then, I’d have run back home (having realised that the phone has been abandoned somewhere, undoubtedly on silent mode, and that Suraj would be trying to get through to me). Finally, he would get through to me and blast me. I would silently hear him out, ask him if he’s done, and then hang up and go my way.

Except with Amma and my brother, I think I switch to listening-mode with most others And happily too. I’m better at listening than talking. Some people make it tough, because most of the ones who matter knows me well enough to continue doing the talking without much expectations Unless I’m completely comfortable with the person on the other side, even being on listening-mode is a pain. So, avoiding calls is the easiest thing to do.

I really don’t know why I talk so little — in general, and on the phone. There is one friend who calls me a chatterbox (really!), but well, I admit that I talk a LOT to him; well, I used to. To others, I think it is mainly because I keep thinking whatever I have to say or talk about will not be of much interest to the listener. Seriously I don’t know why I think so, but I do. I don’t say a lot of things, thinking it won’t be of any interest to that person, only to listen to something very similar coming from the other end And well, by then, whatever I could have said would have become stale Well, I get into one of my PJ moods when some of my brother’s friends call…and I go on yap yapping for hours, till they hang up on me, threatening to kill me next time they see me.

So, basically, for me, a mobile phone is essentially just a replacement for Gmail chat And Winamp! I use it to text, and I use it to listen to my favourite music tracks. That is about it.

My first one was a Sony Ericsson w810i. I bought it because it came with the cutest, tiniest pair of external speakers (which incidentally wasn’t working, and I still have not used!). I loaded all my music into it, and was always plugged to my phone through earphones. An incoming call in the middle of a favourite song would piss me off — and I’d just disconnect the call! Yes, I used to be that bad. I was sooooo attached to that phone that despite being gifted a 160GB iPod, I refused to part with the walkman phone. I did not use the iPod for almost a year! I used this for over 4 years (it looks MIGHTY sad now, considering the number of times it has gone bouncing down the stairs, into rain puddles, on to the road, blah blah!) It served me verrrrry well, though

Finally, Suraj convinced me that I baaadly needed a new phone I refused to exchange my w810. I would always want it, I said.

I bought the Sony Ericsson Xperia w8. Again, for the music. I HATED the fact that it was touchscreen! Texting someone became an ordeal. I actually began calling people! Bah. And then I got used to the touchpad, and now my phone is back to being a walkman, and a Gmail chat alternative And I like the fact that I can access Gmail chat also on it That’s about the ONLY reason I appreciate a smart phone now. It is quite smart Well, the w810i was smart too, but I wasn’t smart enough those days

Poor thing, Suraj. New phone and all that, but it too has the silent mode thingy in-built! Oh well, I’m still the same, I guess. I still do not pick up calls Living in the same house makes it a little easier for him, I suppose. [And it does not help that he calls to remind me to do the many chores he assigns to me every morning, which I promptly forget Listen, if I forget it, perhaps I really do not want to do those ]

I still remember, how when we went to Coorg over a year back, there was no mobile connectivity at the homestay we stayed at. Was I thrilled! It was a real stress buster. No one called, no one texted, no one could contact me at all. Absolute “Yay” it was!! (Not that I’m always getting calls/text messages, but still) I was at peace, while Suraj freaked out.

So why am I blabbering about all this now? Because recently, a couple of old college friends ganged up against me (okay, I’m exaggerating, but it was akin to ganging up alright. Bah!) for not keeping in touch. Well, I’m ALWAYS online — and none of you are! If you’re all always available on phone, why not give me a call? Er er…I mean, send me an sms Anyway, after explaining myself and brilliantly emerging as the innocent angel that I am, I’ve decided to give the single “ring-ring”s in loving remembrance henceforth

However, all said and done, I have to say: the mobile phone and me…don’t really get along too well. And I might even forget about the ring-ring agreement after a while. You are always in my mind, just believe that Was I any different at all when we met last weekend?

Edited to add: Yay!! I’m not alone. She may be my soul sister I could easily have written this post!!

True friends are hard to come by!

It’s amazing how you can speak right to my heart… Oh, that’s a song.  Not how I meant to start this.

But well, it’s amazing alright. How the best of people always have the best of friends Like how Calvin has Hobbes; Asterix has Obelix; Tintin has Snowy; the F.R.I.E.N.D.S. have each other; and well, Boban has Moli.

I think the best of the lot is Calvin and Hobbes.

And if I be Calvin, I’ve found my Hobbes [Or vice-versa, if my ‘Hobbes’ doesn’t like being a tiger *But for now, you’ll have to make do with being Hobbes. The other option would be to make you Richard Parker, who coincidentally is again a tiger. I think Hobbes is much cuter, nicer and definitely more fun to be with*]

I’m very, very, VERY choosy when it comes to friends—especially the kind that can be ‘Hobbes’. And this one was, well, totally unexpected. Someone I definitely did not see myself ever getting so close to or being such great friends with!

The time I first met Hobbes, I never thought we’d ever strike a chord. Hobbes seemed a very serious, withdrawn person. The kind that is so withdrawn, they barely look up at you when you’re being introduced to them and quickly nod before going back to their work. Uh uh…definitely not the kind who would be friends with someone goofy like me So well, I maintained a distance, and was always just courteous and polite.

I liked Hobbes, but that was about it. In the meantime, I also heard bits of conversation here and there of Hobbes being this serious person; people seemed to be quite scared of Hobbes, and I saw very few people being comfortable and carefree around Hobbes—cementing my impression of Hobbes as someone who could not easily be “friended”. Well, that impression lasted about a week.

Till I first heard Hobbes laugh. It was a loud, clear, right-from-the heart guffaw. Yes, a guffaw. You have to hear it to know what I mean Despite not knowing what the joke was or who it was shared with, I found myself looking up and smiling at Hobbes. Well, to be precise, at the back of Hobbes’ head! And that was when I figured Hobbes out: in an instant. And I liked Hobbes a lot more then

Only someone that’s completely genuine, sincere, adorable and so full of humour can ever laugh like that. Seriously. Laughter—especially the kind that emanated from Hobbes that day, and many, many times after that—is something that will give away a person’s character immediately: it can tell you who is fake, who is real Hobbes was definitely very, very real! I figured I could be myself, goofy and well, just me. The only question was if Hobbes wanted that. Hehe.

You need to know the nuances of laughter to be able to figure people out When I shared that piece of insight once, Hobbes said “I refuse to laugh like that from now on!” Well, the damage was done already, my dear Hobbes once told me “Not everyone retorts to me the way you do. You picked my sense of humour too fast. And I’m not like this to everyone either. I appear serious, proud and very quiet. It’s a facade…kind of a protection that I put around myself.” Well, I’m glad I broke through the facade, and damaged your “aura” (which I still insist on never having noticed ). I now have a friend for life—and an awesome one at that

When I look back now, I still cannot believe Hobbes and I became friends. I would never have believed it if someone had told me then that Hobbes and I would become such friends someday. I would’ve scoffed, I suppose But well, we did become friends…though very, very, very gradually.

With Jaya, my best friend—an alter ego, maybe I should say—it took just about 5 minutes for us to bond and become friends for life. Was I not so choosy then, you ask? Well, is it tough to like yourself in 5 minutes? Anyway, I thought a friend as valuable as that would never come by a second time. I was wrong. I guess 2 really is a good number for me

Hobbes is perhaps one other person who is equally choosy about friends. I guess we have both had enough experiences that hold us back, make us take our time to fully understand another person before going from ‘just friends’ to ‘great friends’. And now, I can say without a moment’s hesitation that Hobbes is a “great” friend to have.

I’ve seen Hobbes in good times and bad—and I have immeasurable respect for the way Hobbes wades through it all.

Hobbes’ sense of humour and quick wit, for one. It can leave you laughing uncontrollably till you end up gasping for air at times…OR leave you so stunned, you wouldn’t know whether to laugh or just gawk. Spontaneity at its best. Certain conclusions and one-liners Hobbes comes up with are…well…bloody hilarious. Something you just do not expect from a person who appears “serious, proud and very quiet”.

There are times when Hobbes gets washed over by a wave of depression…and I pretend not to understand that and keep insisting that Hobbes smile at least “half a smile” *Hobbes, I really do understand when you’re in the dumps, but there is nothing I can do to help you at such times. Apart from telling you to smile! Apart from listening and saying “Hmmm”*

There are times when I am pissed off with something and I go crib to Hobbes—knowing very well that my problems are nothing compared to Hobbes’. But well, me being me, I still crib I could go on and on and on and on, and Hobbes would patiently listen. There would be nothing Hobbes will have to say, to help me, but listen Hobbes will. No questions asked, no judgements made. And all this, while I am just making a mountain out of a miniscule mole hill.

When it comes to a fault, Hobbes does not see if there’s friendship or enmity. If Hobbes has to blast, Hobbes will blast. Despite being such close friends, I’ve been blasted too (which surprised a few people because we were supposed to be ‘friends’; now who blasts friends, huh?). Well, I do. Hobbes does, too. What are friends for, if they can’t correct you when you’re wrong? If there’s credit to be given, Hobbes gives it generously—again, irrespective of friendship or enmity. I think that’s a fabulous quality: to be able to separate life from work

If you are a friend, Hobbes will perhaps die for you. Well, not literally, of course. But if you want Hobbes to do something for you, Hobbes will do it, despite perhaps not liking it at all. It always surprises me, because I would never do that! I’ve kidded about certain things, and Hobbes always agreed to do it, even after admitting it may not be the best thing to do. Maybe one should NOT be so fiercely loyal to friends. You never know how loyal your ‘friend’ is to you. *Note the point, Hobbes *

There are times when Hobbes deserves a kick—for judging people wrongly, for making the wrong ‘friends’, for trusting the wrong people (repeatedly, at that), for helping the ones who do not deserve to be helped…and in all this process, getting hurt. But well, can’t be helped…because Hobbes is Hobbes. I like that *No matter what the other person is or does, you have to be you, Hobbes *.

Yes, now that I think about it, I really like that! People come and go, some even walk over Hobbes, leaving bruises…but the next time they need help, Hobbes does not think twice before helping (and most probably getting hurt again). Though I’ve blasted Hobbes for that many times, I think that’s amazing. *Remain so, just stop expecting any gratitude, whatsoever. And I still will blast you the next time you do that * In Hobbes’ own words, “You fool me once – you are clever; You fool me twice – I am stupid; Hobbes is not stupid; wow, I like that line”.  I do too

Of course, Hobbes has faults. Well, who doesn’t (except me!), right? Hobbes frets too much about the past; is too perfect and orderly (yes, that’s a fault!); goes into a shell and refuses to talk about it if something upsets Hobbes; does not appreciate telegrams (!); is not a great fan of Calvin & Hobbes despite being christened Hobbes (!!); thinks an i10 is better than a Punto (bah); aaaaaand walks way too fast Saddest of all, Hobbes does not forgive the mistakes made by self (if they can be called ‘mistakes’, which I personally don’t think is what those are; I think everything is a lesson, a learning, an experience…it makes you one bit stronger, one bit wiser). *You need to get over them, Hobbes. I know it is easier said than done, but you have to. Otherwise, you won’t really get time to make new mistakes What’s life without mistakes, to crib over and learn from?*

There are times Hobbes can be absolutely morbid, absolutely mind-numbing and absolutely shocking. I have fallen off my chair quite often at certain things Hobbes said. I’ve laughed sooooo much that I’ve gone so red in the face, making Hobbes all alarmed that something might happen to me.

I’ve also gaped in awe at certain other things. Like the courage, the perseverance, the patience, the sense, the logic. Most importantly, the pure will to survive and succeed.

The most amazing thing, however, is the way Hobbes can get up or down to any age level Right from 5 to 50 We are capable of being two kids fighting over who is better than the other…and can, in the blink of an eye, be two very mature adults, having a serious discussion on life’s complexities

We have long conversations and longer spells of comfortable silences. I read somewhere “The best kind of friend is one with whom you sit on a bench, saying nothing and when you get up and go, you feel as if you had the best conversation of your life!” Oh, I believe that to the last word now

*Hobbes, I’m immensely grateful to you for the companionship you gave during some real bad times; for listening to all my cribbing like it was the most important thing at that moment; for guiding me on when I needed directions; for the many, many coffee breaks and walks; for the many deals; for some real impressive pep talks; for the umpteen laughs; for all the mentorship; for cheering me up when I was depressed; for making September 2011 a bearable ordeal; for correcting me when I was wrong; for being a true friend all the time. And most importantly, for being the delight that you are…for being you.*

Friendship is a rather strange thing. It is not about going out together and ‘having fun’ all the time; it’s not about having weekend trips together; it is not about lavishing gifts on them; it’s not about sitting around a table together and secretly wondering if you have everything your friend has. Most importantly, it’s NOT about being supportive even when your ‘friend’ is obviously wrong: that’s being the goody-goody, I’m-there-for-you-whatever-you-do Samaritan. Friends don’t let each other tread the wrong path.

Friendship is definitely about being there for each other, through good times and bad. But more importantly, it’s about being a critic and a guide. Goof around, have fun, call each other names, pull each other’s legs, land a surprise, lend a shoulder. But when your friend is wrong, have the courage to point it out, help the person correct the wrong and get back into the right. Be an unconditional friend, but be a valuable one first. That’s when you’re a true friend.

Which is why…

Guess with Hobbes, I just got damn lucky

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P.S.: Hobbes, here’s wishing you a fantastic new beginning that remains fantastic till the end. What you leave behind, is definitely something that is best left behind

P.S. of P.S.: I’m not to be held responsible if being known as “Hobbes” does further damage to your “aura”

P.S. of P.S. of P.S.: I still insist: there is no aura

Yay!

My blog is recovering from 50,036 hits since 13 June 2008! Bah, folks. So you go ahead and see the “since 13 June 2008!” part? Now whose fault is that? Yours! If you all had kept crazily clicking on my blog every other day, I’d have reached this milestone a loooong time back Oh, so I have to write as frequently as well? Hmmm…whatever.

Well, honestly, it does not matter to me. And I noticed it only because a friend pointed it out (snickering, saying “valla vidhavum athrem oppicheduthu” — literally translates to “finally you managed to reach that much”). Yes, such friends I have. Sigh.

So well, I’ve seen people posting such milestones. And for want of anything else to write about, here it is.

Yay! 

Days of disorientation…

…have been on for a long while now and they don’t seem to come to an end! And I don’t like it one bit. One bit!

And unlike others, when I vanish from my blog, nobody cares. Nobody calls up. Mail do not flood my inbox asking me if I’m alright, where I am, why there are no posts… Nothing, none of that. That depresses me. Nobody cares   Ah well, Scribby did ask. She cares…and I now love her for that!

I missed a lot many of your posts, but most of them, I read. Some I “like”d, some I just read, smiled and closed off. No favouritism there Just too lazy to “log in to WP to ‘Like’”

It’s been almost 2-and-a-half months since I blogged last. Not because I had nothing to blog about — in fact, a lot happened over the last 2 months and 10 days. It’s just that I’d been wallowing in depression and disorientation, I’ve not been able to make myself log in here and crib write about it, or about anything at all, for that matter.

• Celebrated Onam well, minus the pookkalams like last time. Pumbaa had his first ever Onam Sadya — and drooled all over the place while I made him pose…and slurped and gulped it all down in a jiffy!
  

  Pumbaa Nayar Thomas' very first Onam Sadya

  • I quit IBM. I put in my papers early September, and I went into depression. Well, it was my decision, but I had really liked working there. There was something comforting about that place, the team, the work… Learnt a lot, went through a lot, lost some “friends”. Gained some real awesome ones   — the only thing I’ll miss so very terribly for a looooooong time! So well, though it was my decision, I do regret it at times. But things did change drastically recently (which may also have fuelled my decision to leave; certain people and their principles did not agree with me, though quitting a company because of that may sound an immature act. Well, you need to be there to know it, so don’t judge me yet ). And for the record, she also quit on the same day   And like I told a manager, I referred her there, and when I left, I took her along
• I went on a team trip from office early October, to Pondicherry. Was it awesome!!! We left on a Friday late night and reached back Sunday night — after having a ton of fun. I loooooooooooooooved the beach time. The bunch of us walked into a private beach on a sizzling afternoon, around 2, and stayed on till about close to 6. It was splendid. And the Sunday morning walk…it was bliss. Thanks for that, Binoy   I don’t think I’d have gone on that walk alone — and if you hadn’t come up with that idea, it’d have been a loss! Thanks for the trip too. I owe you a whole post for being such a great friend
  

  The beach was all ours! -- at Pondicherry

• Pumbaa turned one (Happy Birthday, Pumbaa!) on October 10. We celebrated his birthday, decorated the house, bought him a load of gifts and made him a special “beef biriyani” birthday cake The grandma painstakingly carved out “HAPPY BIRTHDAY” from carrots, because Pumbaa loves carrots He downed it all. It was pure neglect and sacrilege on my part not to have posted at least that. Paaavam Pumbaa I even posted the pics on FB quite late! Here’s a pic. More here.
  

  Happy Birthday, Pumbaaaaaaa

• I went for a “Nostalgia Night” at Resource Communications, the one place I had ALWAYS loved working in, and the one place I’d love to work in, any day   It was on a Friday night, and I wasn’t sure I’d be able to make it. But I managed to, thanks to Suraj. It was perhaps one of the BEST decisions I’ve taken. It was awesome being back there, meeting all those people, walking around in that awesome place. Thanks for hosting it, Jayadev and Chicku! You people rock!
  

  After a night of Resource...ful memories!

• It was my birthday too, recently. Well, no grand gifts this time, but got a FABULOUS cake — of Calvin & Hobbes. It was sooooo superbly done! I wanted a cardigan, so while Suraj took me shopping, the brother, father and mother decked up the terrace, set the cake and balloons and waited for me to come back! It was awesome
  

  The god-awesome Calvin&Hobbes Cake

• Hate being at home, in a state of indecision and confusion. Hate taking it on others, so trying not to talk about it much. Would love to enjoy it as a vacation, but there’s work keeping me occupied and worries keeping me in a perpetual state of disturbance.
• Love the weather. Bought a cardigan (finally!) and promptly lost it the very next day at the bank — and didn’t realise it until after 4 days. Bah to me, seriously! Ugh!
• Want to get back to blogging — like I used to. Wonder what’s stopping me
• The only place I want to go to, to live in, EVER is Goa. There! I’ve said it, put it down in writing. Goa, Goa, Goa. Not Kochi, not anywhere else
• The parents have decided to relocate back to Trivandrum. We’ll miss them   They’ll miss Pumbaa   Pumbaa’ll miss them
• Vimmuuu relocated to Kochi, and likes it better than Trivandrum. Bah to you, pseudo spidey! I don’t like you anymore

Okay! I’m done for now. I wonder when I’ll be back — both, to being myself, and to my blog. Too much time, is sometime, very little! Sigh!

Have the stars come down?

There’s a lovely, mesmerizing, sprawling estate. That’s where she lives, all alone, by herself. This estate has the tallest trees she has ever seen, and they’re all so close together, creating a dense forest-like atmosphere. The sprawling bungalow stands proudly somewhere in the centre of the estate, covered on all sides by these tall tress at a radius of about 100 metres. Within these 100 metres, sway hordes of beautiful flowers, croton plants, and some certain lavendar flower bearing trees.

It’s slowly getting dark outside, and the colours fade away politely to bring in the pitch black of the impending night. She puts away the book she’s reading, gets off her rocking chair and switches on the porch light. The feeble incandescence barely lights up the steps that lead down to the courtyard.

As she gets back to her rocking chair and takes the book in her hands once again, she realises she’s hungry — she hasn’t had a morsel since breakfast. So engrossing has the book been. She drops the book back on the chair and walks in.

The bungalow is a huge one. Most rooms in the bungalow are not used — yet, she opens all the huge, grill-less, open windows very morning, closes them before sunset. Today, however, she’s been caught up in the fast-paced pages of the book. That was a mistake. But it’s too early to realise that.

She walks into the kitchen and stands there for a moment, relishing the cool breeze that floated in uninvited. She fixes herself a nice, warm, yummy dinner. As she inhales the aromas of the various spices, it invigorates her, making her feel ecstatic.

That’s when the power suddenly goes out, leaving her in a kitchen lit only by the low flame of the stove — and as she looks out through the kitchen window, she sees only pitch black. And it looks like the stars have come down. As her eyes adjust to the moonlight, she freezes. For, what glitters like stars are glinting pairs of eyes — of many black panthers making their way stealthily towards the bungalow.

As the blood in her veins slows down its mad rush, she grabs at the windows, swing them close. She runs from room to room, swinging them all shut. And as she goes from the rooms facing east, to west to south, she realises the glittering pairs of eyes are covering the distance quickly, all around. The bungalow is surrounded by them!

As she closes the last but one window and turns to close the last one on the opposite wall, she sees lithe paws springing off the window sill, landing sexily on the room’s granite floor. 16 extended, sharp nails click on the cool granite.

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I’m a person of very few dreams. I dream rarely — yes, really RARELY. And when I do have dreams, they’re extremely vivid, of undeniable details…sometimes extremely shocking.

Some are so real, I wonder if I was actually dreaming. there are incidents I’ve believed have really happened, only to later realise it was but a mere fragment of my imagination at work while I’m dozing! And these realizations strike when I discuss those incidents with other people who were with me “then” in the dream, and they look at me blankly, saying “What? When?”.

Of all such dreams, the one that has given me shivers every time is the one with the estate and the bungalow! This is a recurring dream, one I’ve dreamt at least 15 times, and I’m NOT exaggerating! I’ve had the same dream that many times, and it was always the same setting, the same time, the same bungalow, the same glinting eyes *trembles*. And every time, at that same moment, when 16 extended, sharp nails click on the cool granite, I wake up, heart thudding away, super-glad to find that I’m in my safe bed, on the road-side house in far-away Trivandrum or Bangalore (yes, I’ve had this dream while I was in Trivandrum, and after I came over here).

I do hope my dreams don’t come true! Shudder!

What’s your dream?

Dreams…who doesn’t have them? What makes the difference, I suppose, is what we do about them. If we believe in them enough to make it more than just a dream — rather, a dream come true!

I have a Dream, by Rashmi Bansal, is an inspiring, motivating book that tells us how 20 different people decided to take the “good” further, and not for profits or their own growth. The book starts off with the famous speech of Martin Luther King’s: “I have a dream…that one day all of God’s children will be able to join hands and sing… Free at last! Free at last! Thank God Almighty, we are free at last!” If that doesn’t inspire you, I don’t know what else will

In the Author’s Note, Rashmi says “A tree is known by its fruit” and so the author’s note as it defines the book, best as “These are people like you and me, not Mother Teresa. They are using the principles of business, to create a better world” A world where profit does not equal greed where people come together for a greater common cause. A world where “I” does not mean crushing “them”. And this probably is what motivated me most to read the book till its final page.

Rashmi has done a great job at writing a simple, thought-provoking book, with inspiring examples—just a perfectly brilliant read for any aspiring entrepreneur.  The simplicity of the entire book is what I liked the most.

Rashmi Bansal is a writer, entrepreneur and youth expert.She is the author of two bestselling books on entrepreneurship.  ‘Stay Hungry Stay Foolish’ features the stories of 25 MBAs who left lucrative jobs to follow the rough road of entrepreneurship. The book created a new record in Indian publishing by selling over 300,000 copies and has been translated into 8 languages.  Rashmi’s second book, ‘Connect the Dots’ focuses on non-MBA entrepreneurs. It has also been a bestseller, selling over 100,000 copies. More about Rashmi here!

I’m an active community service volunteer, and I love doing it. I’ve always felt I should just team up with a few people and start something off. But there’s always the fear that there will be quite a few obstacles, which we’re not prepared to handle and overcome, given our position and contacts. This book did bring to light the nitty gritties and the challenges other like-minded people faced, and overcame as well. I think this is a great book for every inspired volunteer, to go ahead and do the things they’ve always wanted to do – with more confidence, with more hope and with more belief in themselves and in their actions!

I will not give out much of the synopsis, or what the book has – not ever any excerpts. I loved the one about Akshay Patra the most, though I don’t know why. Among the many Rainmakers, Change Makers, and the Spiritual Capitalists, which one are you? Throughout the book, I kept trying to find out which one I fit into And well, I think I can safely say I’m a Rainmaker—though I’m no “entrepreneur” in the right sense of that word But yes, I’m not interested in “charity”, I rather prefer to just do good Plus, I’m such a “rain” person

Wondering what I’m blabbering about? Get a copy of I have a Dream, and find out whether you’re a rainmaker, change maker or a spiritual capitalist Meanwhile, I wish you all a very meaningful Independence Day, and I hope you all have a dream for the betterment of our country — and get inspired to do something about it too

This review is a part of the Book Reviews Program at BlogAdda.com.
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an apple a day…

So I’ve always had this huge complex that I never get Suraj any fantastic birthday gift that gets him all excited and speechless.

In my defense, shirts, walnut muffins and birthday kisses aren’t exactly gifts that fall in the aforementioned category And of course, thanks to my memory, my “complex” surfaces only the eve before his birthday, every year! And that his birthday falls on the almost month-end does not help! We’re both broke by then, and everyone else I know (from whom I could borrow money) would also be broke!

So, when I got Pumbaa and the awesome Canon DSLR on my last birthday, I had my mind set on getting him something fab. Mine is on 2 Nov, and his birthday is on 29 June — ample time to brainstorm, save up and get him that spellbinding gift. Or so I thought.

Pumbaa decided to go on a marathon ‘growing up’ race, and I had to follow him all the time, capturing all those phases on cam Of course, I forgot to plan, save up and everything. When 27 June 2011 dawned dusked-and-went-to-sleep on me, I panicked and made my bro lose sleep on gift ideas. We were to leave to Kerala on 28th night, and I had very little time!

On 28 June, at work I noticed a colleague comparing her SE Xperia with another’s iPhone, and asking people which was the better one.

iPhone! Why not!

And just 3-4 days back, another colleague had told me he wanted to buy an iPhone 4 — that there was some fab offer from Airtel. I almost asked him what iPhone 4 is, whether it was a collection of 4 iPhones Yes, I’m a little tech-savvy that way. But I saved myself some humiliation and did not ask it. So I logged into the Airtel site, checked it out, understood nothing about the fab-ness, saw the iPhone, found it sexy, pictured it in Suraj’s palms and liked the picture!

One call to the bro sent him going to the Airtel store, asking about the plans, the rates, the costs — uh oh, the cost…gulp. Anyway, while he was apparently taking out his credit card, they told him they only have the white one! And have I already told you how much Suraj loves — just LOVES — the colour black? So, he went back home, assuring me “We’ll buy it tomorrow, from Kochi — and actually gift it to him ON his b’day”.

29 June dawned, and we were in hot, humid Kochi. I stole Suraj’s own credit card, took what was there in my account as well, gave them to my brother, and sent him in search of a black iPhone.

So apparently, it’s real tough for me to actually give him a gift on his birthday, even if I decide to, and even have the money! The people at the Airtel store had too many things to stop us from buying it — SIM issues, number migration, plan continuity, rate changes. Bleh!

So then we decided to get it for him once we reach back to Bangalore. Which would be on 2nd July. Whatever!

And then my bro comes up with “How about an iPad instead? It’s so much more cheaper than an iPhone too. Plus he already has a decent enough phone. Think about it.” But again, my bro would reach back only on 5th, and I couldn’t do this alone. So another few days I waited.

I check out iPad2 on the Apple website and fall in love with it! Awesome would be an understatement! Now, the brother has postponed his trip, and would reach only on 14th… No issues, I think. I’ve delayed it so much. It’ll be all the more a surprise for Suraj

And on 10th, Suraj comes home and narrates the story of how a colleague of his bought an iPad2 to work and showed off. He then told me he planned to buy one through an EMI: “I’m done buying extremely costly things with one-time payments — learnt that the hard way after Pumbaa and the Canon “. I panicked big time, called my bro and ordered him to land in Bangalore the very next day. Like my dad sits at the Indian railway and bus stations He got a ticket only for the 13th. I was dying by then, unable to hold on to this secret myself, wanting to tell Suraj.

The home-made Apple iPad

And that’s when I check out the price: it’s as costly as the iPhone! Bah bah baaaah!

My brother reached, we realised I may not really be able to afford it, and decided to gift him this instead

And well, we made elaborate preparations:

• I came up with the idea of gifting him an actual “apple”
• My bro went to the fruit seller, enquired the cost for a kilo (120 bucks!) and said “please give me one”
• I bit off one side, took a marker and actually tried writing “iPad2″ on it
• My brother came up with this mini-iPad
• Dad and mom acted all cool and innocent as Suraj walked in
• I have a feeling even Pumbaa was on our side. There was none of the usual hyperactive welcome Chakkara Pumbaa

As Suraj sat down on the couch expecting a cup of tea, I put on my usual “kalla lakshanam” smile and forced him to ask me what I was up to I then gave him a Dark Fantasy biscuit, and wished him a “belated happy birthday”. My brother followed suit, and so did dad and mom. Pumbaa wanted to too, but we knew the biscuit would not reach Suraj Meanwhile, the expression on Suraj’s face while this drama unfolded was hilarious!

And then I told him I have a gift for him. His expression became even more comical.

I gave him clues.
I told him “Why do you think I withdrew all that money today?” Comic expression 3.
My brother began singing “oPod…o poduuu“. Comic expression 4.
“You liked that thing so much and wanted it.” Comic expression 5.
“You mentioned EMI”. Comic expression changes for a second to shock. And immediately back to something that said “Naa, she can’t have bought me an iPad2″.

I SO REGRET not having video taped him all that while DAMN ! Anyways, I slowly inched towards him, with my hands at my back — and brought out the home-made Apple iPad2.

Even though he kept saying “Naa, can’t be that. Out with it…”, and all that, I could see his face fall when he saw it was just an apple   Ok, so maybe that wasn’t all that funny (Funniest thing was that my dad’s face fell even more when he saw Suraj’s disappointment! Fathers-in-law are meant to be not-so-emotionally-attached to their sons-in-law. Bah!)

And then, he downed his cup of tea, ate that entire apple at my request, and went upstairs to complete some urgent work. That’s when Dad apparently called him back to discuss something about the car insurance. And when he walked in for the second time that day, I handed him this:

The 64GB, WiFi + 3G Apple iPad2: the "fantastic gift" that finally got him all speechless, goldfish-like and excited

I still can’t help but laugh when I remember how he reacted. He stood there stunned, not knowing what to say, who to look at, while the 5 of us (dad, mom, my bro, Pumbaa and I) looked at him expectantly. He kept opening and shutting his mouth like a cute goldfish, not knowing what and IF to say, to whom, what to do. He just stood there with the box in his hands for about 1 whole minute.

Chooyaj's iPad2

And THIS, dear people, is when I wanted to go jump into a deep water-less well — for NOT video taping this bit either Waah Double damn!

Of course, his first question had to be “Where did you get all the money from!?” !!! Seriously, Suraj, is that all you could ask? And then he opened it, showed it to everyone, forgot about going upstairs again, forgot about his “urgent work” which he ran up about 5 minutes ago to complete, and went back now and then to being the cute goldfish again

Of course, I questioned him later, to figure out how well he liked the whole drama and why he did the goldfish act for that long. Apparently, he was bloody shocked that I’d bought him a gift he had wanted and talked about just two days ago; he was doubly shocked when he got to know that I had this planned for almost half a month in advance — even before he even thought about the existence of something called an iPad; that no one had ever bought him a gift that he really really wanted and loved so much on sight; that he never thought I was capable of something so organized like this; that I didn’t limit it to the iPhone, for which he had no real love And of course, because he was the centre of attention on a very normal, mundane day, two weeks AFTER his birthday. Trust him to be sooo happy for all these small reasons. While I went and thanked my brother profusely on my birthday for the camera that Suraj actually gifted!

Of course, I guess it was a suicidal act on my part — he now has a TV, a laptop and an iPad2 !! And he doesn’t even want the TV anymore. So, that should tell you where I am. Sigh! I’m in his heart, you people I keep reminding him now and then, that I gave him an iPad2, what a wonderful wife I am, et al. Yea, I’m shameless that way

P.S.: Any doubts you wanna clear about the iPad2, please contact my “Chakkara Chooyaj”

P.S. of P.S.: Btw, the iPad2 is fantastic. Coming from someone like me, you can trust that statement totally!

P.S. of P.S. of P.S.: I’m officially broke and in debt for another year and half at least

My first toy…

Penguin Race

…was this penguin race, which I absolutely adored. Well, if I remember right, it was my brother’s. My aunt got it for him, but well, me and the brother being best friends, we only had “our” toys. I remember the quiet evening we spent together, watching the penguins open their little door, come out one after the other, get on the slide and race. The most wonderful part was watching them go “plop, plop, plop” up the stairs. Now, when I think of it, I can’t remember why it was called a penguin “race”, because there was no way they could race each other I’m sure that toy is one main reason I’ve always LOVED penguins!

Two years later, the penguin race was broken to many pieces by a cousin, and I howled away to glory when the aunt chided “stop crying. it’s just a toy.” I still wonder if she realises it was never “just a toy”. It was my many evenings’ activity with my brother; a huge part of my childhood then; a factor that bonded us so well, apart from many others; my first memories of the joy of “sharing”.

Toy Horse

Another favourite toy, was a rubber squeaky toy horse. I remember the many evenings I’ve spent making that lifeless little animal hop all over my room. I have no idea what I was thinking. That was in 1992. And when we shifted from that house and relocated to Guruvayur, I left my toy horse behind, and was depressed about it! In 2002, when we returned to our own house (I was in Std 12 then; yea, go calculate my age I’m 26, silly! )  I spotted a sunbleached, moss-covered, barely-recognisable rubber squeaky toy horse on our sunshade. I still remember how overjoyed I was! I picked it up, cleaned it (it was even mis-shapen after 10 years of heat and rain and cold and dirt and dust and loneliness) and took it to mom to ask her if she recognised it. She did, and she thought I was crazy But I can’t tell you how much of my childhood came rushing back — not just about the times I played with it, but about the time spent living in that house, and a million other joyful memories!

Game of Life

Then there were the two Barbie dolls, which I cared for like they were my kids; then came the G.I. Joes (yea, I was a tomboy for a few years ), the cars, the guns; the the soft toys, the teddy bears, the tweety, the monkey. The bunny, the rabbit, the piggy, the somersaulting pup!

There were board games aplenty: Memory (a visual recall game that’s excellent for stimulating memory power, observation and identification); Scrabbles (of course, the famous vocabulary andword power builder); Monopoly (the one that brings out the businessman/woman in you); Life (about life itself, insurances, loans, family, health and what not).

Building Blocks

Needless to say, each game/toy had a lot of special memories attached to it; a lot of learning; a lot of wisdom; a lot of joy, fun and happiness. I still love toys — I’m not ashamed to say this out in public. Give me a little car, I’ll play with it Give me a penguin race, I’ll be as fascinated as I then was! Give me a box of memory cards, you wont hear from me for a looong while. Give me a soft bunny toy, I’d love to play puppetry with it (yes, I even use different voices for different dialogues! ) Yes, so I LOVE toys, and I love to see kids playing with them.

And now, when I look back on all the toys that we had,  my bother and I, I  realise that we had very few — i repeat: VERY FEW — toys that were meant for individual play. Most of our toys required two people to play…and if it didn’t, I think we took it up on ourselves to make it work that way, because that’s how we were conditioned with most of our other toys! I don’t know if it was intentional on our parents’ part to give us toys that made us share time, space and joy. I must ask. But whatever that was, we learnt the art of sharing, of building memories together, of learning to call it “ours” than “mine” or “yours”, of happily extending it to other kids, of openheartedly sharing our time, space and toys for the happiness of our cousins and friends…

And today, when I see toys or go to a toystore, I do not long for toys I never had as a kid — but I always long for my childhood to come back: those evenings where we would wait for Amma to return from work while the penguins went up and down the slides and steps…

Childhood is a time to remember…a phase of life when one is carefree, filled with innocence and finds joy in everything — the joy of learning, the joy of spending time with friends, the joy of playing with toys and the joy of having fun! I think toys are an integral part of childhood. They play a major role in moulding a child’s temperament, behaviour, personality and ideals. They instill the concepts of sharing, team playing, being responsible and so on.

Childhood definitely is a time to remember, and look back to longingly. And it is sad and heartbreaking that a huge number of children the world over have nothing but misery, loneliness and almost-nothing to look back to, remember, or long for!

So, when one fine day at work, I got this in a mail, I was sure I wanted to:

Donate a toy: make a difference.

We formed a group within office, collected toys from wherever we could, segregated it by age and gift wrapped it. We now plan to take them around to a few NGOs with the help of Toybank officials, so we can see for ourselves the joy on the kids’ faces when they open up their gift wraps I’m already excited!

We held a 2-week drive at office, and here’s an overview of what we collected: over 200 toys ranging from soft toys and figure toys to board games, building blocks, card games, balls, colouring books, and coloring sets…

I must say, we all had a gala time, sorting toys, ooh-ing and aah-ing over some real superb ones, thanking the many people who cared to give these away, even kidding about planning to take a few home We didn’t, of course: but I say that because some of the toys were REALLY AWESOME, and I sincerely am grateful to the parents who decided to give them away, and to others who decided to BUY NEW ONES since they didn’t have any at home! And all the while, we kept saying how much fun the kids who’d receive them would have, when we ourselves were enjoying so much.

Here are a few pics of what we collected and wrapped

Naimika pushing the complete load of wrapped toys to the storeroom (long story, sigh!)

As we were gift wrapping them all

The toys we segregated before wrapping them up

I urge all of you to take this up as an initiative in your respective organizations and bring a load of joy to some kids whom you’ve never even seen before! Toybank has a presence in Mumbai, Delhi, Bangalore, Pune, UK and Bhutan. Even if you’re in a city where Toybank does NOT have its presence,I’m sure you can identify a few NGOs that would LOVE to take in these toys for the kids who they give a home to!

It’s an experience you’ll cherish for life. I can guarantee that!

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Toybank stresses on the need for non-formal education through play for every child. The basic philosophy of this organization is centered on providing toys to children who have no access to them. Toybank will identify NGOs, municipal schools and hospitals for the distribution of the toys. Toybank has a presence in Mumbai, Delhi, Bangalore, Pune, UK and Bhutan.

Toybank’s mission includes:
>> Ensuring that children from under privileged backgrounds receive toys through collection and distributions.   >> Bridging the gap between children from different backgrounds by creative play/group events/community events.   >> Making play space available for children through toy libraries using available infrastructure; to reclaim open public spaces for children.   >>Designing and provide toys that are context specific, and to have toys made in local languages as well.

Toybank accepts new and old/used toys as long as they are still in presentable/working conditions. They accept all kinds of toys, except for those that promote racial or violence streaks (like barbie dolls, guns, artillery, etc.). They also accept stationary: crayons, colour pencils and paints, solouring books, story books, notepads/books, pens and pencils, etc.

This post is part of BlogAdda’s Bloggers Social Responsibility (BSR) initiative. I am exercising my BSR by supporting Toybank.

You can too, with three very simple steps. Visit http://www.blogadda.com/bsr-list and support the NGO’s cause.

You can also take a step further, contribute as much as you can, and spread awareness about this wonderful initiative

Discover scuba diving…

…breathe underwater for the first time and you’ll have one of the best experiences in life I guarantee it!

Last weekend, Suraj, I and a friend enrolled for the Discover Scuba Diving (DSD) programme offered by Planet Scuba India, in association with Professional Association of Diving Instructors (PADI). This was being conducted at the ‘Swimlife Swimming Academy’ swimming pool, within the St Joseph’s School premises on Mallaya Road, Bangalore.

I got to know about it through Nikhil, and even before I got the details, I was all happy and thrilled. I had pictures of me swimming amongst the beautiful sea life, a few coral reefs passing by, a school of fish standing in line, waiting for me to pass… sigh! I could barely contain my excitement. And that’s when I asked him if I’d get to see sharks and dive with the dolphins and all. “For that, you need to go to the Andamans”, was what he said. I immediately stepped back into my dreamworld, where I was in Andamans with Suraj, bro, buddy sis, dad, mom and Pumbaa, of course!

It then struck me that none of us knew swimming. And we had no diving gear — not even swimming trunks, obviously! “We’ll provide all the gear. Just be at the pool by 11″, he assured me.

Crazy about water, despite being non-swimmers, we decided to go check the event out and then decide whether to go in or not. When we reached there at 11, expecting a crowd of wannabe divers, we were surprised to know that we were three amongst the only 6 wannabes who had turned up! Yey! That made things even better. We had the whole pool to ourselves — just the 6 of us Within no time, we were all at ease (and I had already begun planning for an actual deep dive into the sea . Yea, so I have a dreaming disorder. So what!? )

Our instructor — Angshuman — was the coolest ever (and let me also mention that his body is completely covered with colourful tattoos! This maybe what inspired Nikhil to get one done too )

He got us acquainted with the gear: including a mask, snorkel and fins, a buoyancy compensating jacket that also carries the scuba tank, a scuba regulator to breathe from and instrumentation to monitor depth and air supply. We were also given suitably sized wetsuits.

He introduced us to our diving gear, gave us a few basic instructions, and asked us if we dared enough to take the deep dive (at the 6ft end of the pool) or just dip in at the 3 ft end. Except for one dainty little lady who looked like a Barbie that had come to life, we all chose the former. At the count of three, one after the other, we dived in — and was it cool baby!!

He taught us how to sink, go deep, swim, clear the mask if water goes in, using the alternate regulator for air, the basic signs to use in case of emergency or even to just communicate underwater, how to balance weights, how to pose for pics underwater (which I didn’t learn well, and that’s evident in the pics )…

That very feeling that no matter what happens, you wont drown, gave us all a boost of confidence! I’ve never EVER gone anywhere near the 6ft end of a swimming pool: not even with a life ring around me! I did face a few issues initially: there was something wrong about my weight-belt — no matter what he did, once I went underwater, I kept turning over to wards my right, finding it impossible to swim ahead. Finally, he took off my weight-belt and just put one weight each in my two side pockets. I was fine after that, and took to it like I was diving forever I swam completely underwater, from one end to the other, without anyone’s help! Yey!

I can’t explain what a wonderful feeling that was. I really, really can’t! I wish I’ll be a fish in my next birth, if there is one…and while we’re at it, God, I’d like to be a dolphin

Agreed, we didn’t get to see any coral or fishes or aquatic life in general; none of the sharks to frighten the life out of us; no school of fish calmly swimming by, going about their business; no dolphins to hang on to; no blue whales who tossed us up in the air as it squirted water…none of that. But this was definitely a humble starter to life under water — I literally went 6 feet under

Being able to go underwater without having to take a deep breath and hold on to it, being able to actually breathe under water (!!), without water getting into your eyes and making everything blurry and into your nose and getting you all wrecked up, without being on the verge of panic and without actually panicking if you lose your footing…

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It was simply fantastic!

And of course, like the time we went parasailing in Goa, Suraj, who had to literally be begged to join for the adventure, was the one who perhaps loved it more that I did! He was glad he did it; it was thaaaaat good. (See, this is why you should TRY things out, darling! ) And he’s now determined to learn swimming. Double Yey (yey yey! ) to that!

I’m now dying to learn swimming — and then go for the Open Water course — and head to Andaman to meet some aquatic friends Yes, that’s my next trip plan

Thanks tonnes, Nikhil, for letting me know about the event and helping us experience something we’d never have otherwise done!

And we’re going again tomorrow — with my brother and more friends