ICICI — hum hain na(hin) !!

I recovered from my ATM card loss recently and realised that I’d been dumb enough not to have applied for a new one…but well, my indecision on the date of my arrival at Trivandrum made me wait a lil’ longer — lest the card comes to Blore and I be at Trivandrum.

Well again, as always, 45 minutes prior to my journey, I realise I have no money on me — had to pay for the ticket and then fill my purse with a lil’ cash (last trip home, my mom opens my purse, gives me a tragic-cum-dirty-cum-pitiful look and says “Rs 5 is all you have on you??”…ahem, that hurt! :D ). Anyways, I rush into this ICICI Branch, see their tagline ‘hum hain naa’ and feel reassured…till I reach Counter 1.

“Hi, I’ve lost my atm card and I’d …” “Have you blocked it, Ma’am?” “Yes. But I need to withdraw cash right now. Its an emergency.” “Sorry Ma’am, you cant do that.”

Now, did I hear him right? “Listen, I am leaving the city in half an hour and I need cash urgently…” “Ma’am, do you have your cheque book?” “No, I dont…” “Then you cant withdraw cash, Ma’am. Ma’am, we are open till 7; you can come back with your cheque book and withdraw later…” I’m getting pissed off here! “Look, sir, I’m leaving the city in half an hour. I do not have the time to go home now!” “Sorry Ma’am, then you cant withdraw cash.”

Oh my god!! These people are unbelievable!! “Look, is there another option?” “Yes Ma’am.” And then silence. He’s blinking at me! Hmmm…ippo technique pidikitti… (now I understand the technique)…one has to ask question by question and get their answers :D :D … I am actually seething by now! “And what, may I ask, is the option?” “Ma’am, you can pay Rs 28 extra and get an emergency cheque leaf…” What the f***?!

Then I am directed to another counter. I hardly reach there before a bright face looks at me and says “May I help you?” “Listen, I’ve lost my ATM card, but i need to withdraw some ca” “Sorry Ma’am, you can’t.” I look at him with an expression that screams “WHAT THE F***!?” “Look, will you let me complete? Your friend there said I can get some kinda emergency cheque…” “Ok. Please wait Ma’am. This is your call slip. When you are called, please go to that counter.”

There are no other customers in that bank…but yet, I have to ‘wait’ for my turn! Ah, the counter screamed my number! Bless you, Counter! I walk over to the lady there and start off “I lost…” “You may please check the counter number, Ma’am.” GRRRRRR! I’m supposed to be at Counter 6, but am at Counter 5…grave mistake!! (The two counters are separated by a very clean, totally transparent glass pane which is half my height!) Why couldnt the b**** just say “Next Counter, Ma’am.”?? But no, I have to walk back, ‘check’ the callout display and figure out which Counter!!

When I finally reach the right Counter and explain my plight, her majesty says “No Ma’am. If you do not have your ATM card or your cheque book, you cannot withdraw cash.” I started losing my cool totally. “What the bloody… Look, lady! I am here for the damn emergency cheque. I’ll pay you 30 or 50 instead of just 28! Just gimme one of those.” “No Ma’am, since you have unused cheque leaves at home, we cannot issue an emergency cheque. This is our policy.”

Then I tore the call slip, threw it into the darned dustbin (wanted to throw at her, but well, I’m not an ICICI employee; so I have some sense and manners!), muttered undescribable prejoratives and walked out.

And now, to apply for a new card, the call centre guys and gals say “You’ll get one from any branch.” The branch ppl say “You’ll get it through the call centre.” Finally the branch people win…I am put through to the call centre gal who takes all my details, makes me hold the line forever and then says “Ma’am, we are unable to process your request. Please call after an hour.” After a few hours, I call again (yes, I need that card badly…and am willing to go through this one last time!), a guy picks up, takes all my details, requests me to hold on since he has to check something and then phutt! he hangs up. I’m left with that irritating automated lady who starts off with “Welcome to ICICI…”

ICICI…my foot!

26 thoughts on “ICICI — hum hain na(hin) !!

  1. Aaaaaaaah! this sounds familiar though in different perspective, i recently had some experience with ICICI people and i still dont understand why do i bank with them.

    Hey don’t you go for the nationalised bank like SBI ?(do i sound like a brand embessedor? :) ) I never have any problem with it and the service is really good! :)

  2. I have heard many complaints from ICICI customers. Infact ICICI are the ones sending goons to get payments from those who have taken loans. I had lost my ATM cards when my wallet got stolen. But I’m an IDBI and SBI customer. I just had to give an application and copy of FIR. got new card within a month!! I’m satisfied with both banks’ service. BTW isnt there a withdrawal slip facility with passbook??

  3. @Lekhni
    I think I should move my money elsewhere…
    as for the security measure, i dont think it is tht…because even without asking for my a/c no., the bright lady at Counter 6 said (looking into her screen) “Ma’am, it shows that you have unused cheque leaves at home…so we cannot issue an emergency cheque…”!! I dont think they have computers that identify ppl by their faces :D :D :D

    @Sakhi
    Nationalised banks are totally prob-free…i agree wid you…
    again, i have dealt with AXIS bank, dhanalakshmi bank…they are all fine too!

    @Reema
    Strangely, the only way one can withdraw one’s own hard earned money from this stupid bank is either thru ATM cards or thru cheque…they do not have withdrawal slip facility!!

  4. OH that was one hell of an experience..
    If i were u i would have done something… i would have surely lost my temper…i guess yes you should go to the branch manager..anyway hw did u mange to get money :P

  5. U know what, you should have shown your frustration on them by shouting at those supposedly private bank employees. These Pandaarakaalanmaaru wont react at all if we remain submissive. Shout, create a scene in front of the other customers and you will get your work done. Like Arvind, I would have lost my temper too.

    Btw thanks for that ‘Thenmavin Kombathu’ dialogue “Ippo Technique pidikitti” ; kinda forgot that :D

  6. @Rekha
    yeah…tough is an understatement! Nopes, i borrowed :D :D :D

    @Arvind
    I’m going to the bank tomorrow again…all set to lose my temper…am even rehearsing dialogues :D :D

    @Vimal
    Welcome to alphabetworld. yes…i’m all charged now for a temper loss :) thanks for the support!
    hehe…as for the thenmavin kombathu dialogue…mallus in blore always have something special fr tht movie ;P
    muthugau and sreehalliyilekkulla valeeee and all tht :D :D

    adding yu tu my blogroll…shall keep visiting.

  7. @Arvind
    been raining cats and dogs here…and i never lose temper if thrs rain :D :D
    Going to the bank tumoro! yes, shall definitely write :D

    @Nikhil
    yea…shud do it!! HDFC, never!! they wont let ppl deposit cash unless you giv it thru cheque and all (i don like cheques, donno why :D :D :D )

    @La vida…
    i think i shud move it….

    @Vimal
    yet to go and fight for my rights! :D

  8. read ur comment at Xylene’s post. To make ur blog url show when u comment go to dashboard>>users (extreme right)>>your profile>>contact info>>website and copy-paste ur blog url there and save.
    Now whenever u comment ur name will be hyperlinked to ur blog. :)

  9. @Reema
    Thanks a lot lot loooooot :D have done it :)

    @Nova
    hehe…hilarious for yu…i’m still stuck wid an empty purse (coz am too lazy to work up a temper and march over tu the bank :D :D :D)…well, being with parents has its virtues…yu can always take frm them (not even borrow ;) ) Yes….am shamelss :D :D :D :D :D

  10. aargh, I hate when the bank is not friendly.
    The problem is not with the bank, its the attitude of the people who work there which irritates me.

    It took 45 minutes to withdraw money from ICICI once.
    while at SBI (4 times the amount), it took just 15 minutes.
    So switch to a nationalized bank. Its better, cheaper and they are more friendly than ever before.!!!!

  11. I can’t believe this happened. ICICI is the pits. I blogged about my own experience when I could not have money transferred to my account. The people at the bank came up with the silliest of excuses and stories as reason for it. Do you know they give only one card per account even if its a joint account?? No second ATM card even if you are prepared to pay for it!! If you try transferring money in the second account holder’s name, the message pops up that such an account holder ‘does not exist’ with their bank! Why don’t they just stop people from opening joint accounts in their precious bank then??
    Hum hai na, my foot!

  12. Hi,

    Is there any particular complaint that you have against our services? Please email them to us along with your contact details at care@icicibank.com and we will get back to you at the earliest to resolve the matter. Kindly refer “1104232” in the subject line.

    Regards,
    ICICI Bank Customer Service Team.

  13. Pingback: Customer ser-VICE: the ICICI way « AlphabetWorld!

  14. Pingback: icici: customer scare « AlphabetWorld!

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