Yea, so I’ve been reading too many Minty, AB-ey, S-ey and other husband-ey posts (there are definitely many more posts that celebrate love which I’d love to cross link to, esp some of Swaram‘s, but I don’t want to give Google too much work!), I decided it was about time I
flaunt introduced mine too
OK. Honestly, it’s not that. I was having this most random talk with a colleague when it struck me how blessed I am to have this awesome guy in my life, for life! And I really wouldn’t mind if you decide to give this one a skip — this is just for him, for him, and for him. I’ve dedicated posts here to Pumbaa, to my brother, to my parents, to my friends. It’s highly unfair that I don’t dedicate one for the guy who dedicated his life to me
So far, he’s always been referred to (if ever; more like always accidentally mentioned) as “the husband”. Hereby, I officially put to end a never-ending agony of a friend, over the use of those two words and the why behind them (there was never any why, really, now that I think of it).
SURAJ. That’s the name (no, not sooraj, but suraj; he’s quite finicky about the spelling ).
He says, he’s Suraj, the sun (like he’s some character out of Amar Chitra Katha )
I think he’s more like the sunLIGHT in my life.
Ahem, guess it’s more or less the same in my parent’s life too, I think I can safely say! If there’s one SINGLE thing they’re really happy about (in spite of it being a completely sole decision of mine), it’s my choice of my ‘life partner’ They love him to bits!
To the brother, he’s the “sundaraa, sumukhaa, ente aliyaa” And to his girlfriend and my soon-to-be chettathi, he’s the “buddy-bro”.
To Pumbaa, well, he’s just “woof” but woofed in a really sweet way, at that.
And when I have those sudden bursts of love (which is like every now and then), he’s mostly “Chooyaj”. Well, in my defense, it sounds more baby-like and cuddleable which is how generally all things sound when there’s a sudden burst of love
Well, what can I say about him, really? Whatever I say, you’ll just have to take at face value—because I’m the ONLY one who he’ll love like this, with whom he’d always and forever be like this. Muhahahah and well, I’m being extremely honest here, so just believe it. There are times when he’s leaning over the sofa, propped comfortable over two cushions, face completely turned towards the TV—and yet says something completely heartfelt and soooper nice to me. And I just gawk at him, secretly grinning and congratulating myself for such a prize catch
Considering all the multiple crushes I used to have and un-have while in grad college and post-grad college again, I never considered myself the type who would be able to fall in love with a guy and just remain fallen for ever! I swear. I’ve had my share of flirting; affairs—one-way, two-way, even no way (!!!); break-ups; heart-breaks, crushes, more heart-breaks… Ok, I must rephrase this bit. You all think I’m a bad, baaad girl no? Well, not really. I’m super nice, come to think of it.
Anyways, I was always sure I’d never ever have an arranged marriage. I only believed in a love marriage. And I did NOT believe in love at first sight. When I saw Suraj for the first time, funnily enough, it was actually my BFF who pointed him out and said “Psssttt…check out that guy. Now, he looks goooood, doesn’t he?!” And I looked, and just “Hmmm”ed at first. What happened after that first “Hmmm” and till that “I do…” about 2.5 years back, is for another post altogether! And, I really don’t want to bore you with all that.
So, coming back to “Well, what can I say about him, really?”.
A close friend (the same one whose agony about “the husband” is now over) once messaged me what she thought about Suraj, saying “The only thing he doesn’t do, is set you on a pedestal and worship you”! Come to think of it, that’s so true. *glowing* Well, she did say a few other things which made his day About him being the most simple, sensitive, nicest person she’s known, or something. Of course, I remember verbatim only that line which had me in it
He’s, I must say, made for me Sometimes I wonder how someone as sane as him can live with someone as insane as me! How someone who’s as calm and level headed as him can tolerate someone as unruly and hot-headed as me. How someone as composed as him can bear with someone as unpredictable as me. How someone with as photographic a memory as his can understand and accept someone could have a memory borrowed from a goldfish, as me! How someone as romantic as him can live, in love, with someone as unromantic as me. For ALL the things I’d get irritated at if it comes from him, he patiently deals with them all when they come from me!
He thinks I say it just because I’m so madly in love with him — but I swear, he’s got magic in him And I felt it most a few days back. I’d had an excruciatingly stressful, irritating day at work. He came to pick me up, and I got into the car all pissed off and tired of life. I was extremely hungry too, by the way That can make me extra cranky. We reached home, and I made a beeline to the kitchen and gobbled up some food. And then I got more cranky ‘coz I had a tummy ache, a headache, and I was extremely tired and pissed. All it took was a warm hug, and in his real soothing voice, “What happened, darling? Come here to me.” That was it. I was already feeling great My tummy ache vanished, there was no signs of the headache, and though I was sleepy, I really wasn’t tired anymore. I call that his “healing touch”. Especially when I get a splitting headache, he keeps his palm across my forehead, and it’s gone in a jiffy! Woohoo!
I know it for a fact that he truly and deeply loves me. It’s no show or act — because they all have a lifespan. Moreover, I can see it in his eyes. During the initial days of courtship, while he used to call me sweet nothings, I used to feel all weird and wondered how someone can call such names so naturally (I told ya, I’m no romantic! — remember the handwritten love letter he gave me? I read it and left it by the computer table, where it lay in near-abandon for 4 days, till he mentioned I could give it a little more value ). I wondered how much one should love, to be able to do that (because, I never could!). NOW, I know how much — because all of those names, I now call Pumbaa. So, now when he calls me those, I feel extra special, sooooper happy and on top of the world Now, I know your love has to be extremely boundless and pure, to be able to be like that. And that is one thing I am so not proud of: I really think I still don’t love him half as much as he does me
If I ever want anything, all I need is to say it, and it’ll be done! In fact, he just doesn’t care what he has to sacrifice for my sake (so, these days I’m quite careful about making random “I wish…” comments ) No questions asked. He doesn’t care if I already have the exact same thing, and it’s lying unused in some corner. He doesn’t care if an alternative is available at 1/10th the cost; he doesn’t care if I can actually do without it. If his wife wants something, he HAS to get it for her. I guess he took those wedding vows damn seriously! While, if it’s he who wants something, I always have a million questions. Bah, I’m horrid, am I not!?
He completely understands my love for my parents and brother, and accepts it. I think, to a large extends, he partakes in it too. Which is why they all think he’s fabulous, too. Before they relocated to Blore, almost ever day I’d have one of my “Amme kaananam…” (I want to see my mommmmm) sessions. And he’d hold me close, and either immediately dial up her number, or if it’s too late to call, just make me feel better and pull me up from the lows.
He spoils me rotten. Before our wedding, he once called my mom and told her “Amma, I just called to demand some dowry.” Needless to say, she was shocked, and a little furious, till he continued with “I want 50 kisses from your daughter everyday. Without fail. Oh, apart from that, I just need your daughter. Nothing else. Sounds OK?” She blushed then. She still sports one of those “awwww” smiles whenever she remembers this conversation! And well, needless to say, again. I’m the one who’s getting all that dowry now With additional hugs for every kiss If we were ever to separate, by the time I’m done handing all of my pending kisses (per the deal), we’d continue being together for at least that many years we’d already been together. Now, that sounds great no?
And the pure love. The way he takes one look at my face and reads my mood, makes me sit on his lap and cuddle me like a baby. The way his face lights up when I walk into our living room, after spending a couple of hours downstairs talking to mom — and he says “Hey, you’re back!” Or the way he always picks up the call with an “Entha chakkare” (yea darling?) instead of a normal “hello”. The way he is his usual self, and makes most people in my extended family later tell me “He’s a gem” (yay!). The way he looks at me in whatever state I’m in (dressed well, decked up well, or looking at my shabbiest worst) and says “you’re looking great”. The way he still tells me he loves me, right after I’ve made a Mount Everest out of a mole bump
He treats me like a baby when I fall ill, or feel unwell. I make a big fuss when I fall sick. I whine, I walk around like I’m going to die the next instant, I am irritable and cranky. He survives through it all calmly, all the while comforting me. In the middle of the night, if a blocked nose or a cough keeps me from sleeping blissfully, I whine like a kiddo — and he actually wakes up to comfort me, forsaking his sleep, and not minding one bit that I disturbed his (preciously few hours of) sleep. If it were I, I’d be ready to kill anyone who disturbs my beauty sleep. Anyone!
There isn’t a single “working” day that he leave without kissing me bye-bye. All he gets in return is a smile, a “bye” and the sight of the quilt quickly going over my head. The first thing I see every day is a well-dressed, smart-looking husband; while he sees a groggy, disheveled wife! Sigh. Apparently, the smile I flash when I open my eyes to see him, is awesome [For the record, he has a normal 9-6 job, while I have an abnormal 2-11 job; we both sleep at the same time, but he has to wake up at least by 7 every morn, while I sleep till 10 Well, I have to sleep, don't I??
When I am tired after doing some household chore, I'm always amazed at how he automatically gives me a massage, taking it for granted that I'd want one -- even without me asking for one. I used to have a terrible back pain problem sometime back (which isn't half as bad these days), and even now, I think it's a voluntary action for him -- to think I'd have a back pain after exerting myself! These are tiny bits of thoughtfulness which means a LOT. Needless to say (and you get the drift no, dont' you?), I seldom have such thoughtfulness
He calls me at least 5-6 times everyday, from office, just to hear my voice. And I, most irresponsible with my mobile phone, will either not pick up the call (for I'd have no clue where it is, or that it is ringing), or if I do (always in the middle of some busy work), either sound too hurried, or busy or curt. And as I write this, I realise, I NEVER call him up just for the heck of it, unless there's some doubt I have or something I want to remind him about. Bah. I think I should stop writing this right now. I'm liking myself lesser and lesser -- something I thought was impossible!!
Yes, so basically, I have a clear picture of what a wonderful dad he'd be someday (and what a moroness of a mom I'd be too). And well, to all others, he's a caring, soft-spoken, mature individual. Unlike me
Well, I wouldn't say I'm completely useless I've bought a lot of humour and insight into his life (haven't I, Chooyaj??). I've made him understand the need to be a total clown at times; take life less seriously, but make people take him more seriously; subtract all the "formality" with people and add more fun and laughs; be able to assert himself when required, whoever it be to; and most importantly, given him a life which, in his very own words, has been "fruitful and precious" since I came into it So YAY to that as well
Of course, he has his flaws: he watches too much TV , hates reading, doesn't understand the joys of getting drenched in rains, thinks i'm crazy for not carrying my mobile all the time, thinks there is a time and place for stupid jokes, loves Bangalore, loves watching movies, doens't understand why I can't sleep unless he does, finishes his meals too fast, watches TV even while he's designing something (which pisses the life out of me, grrr), absently nods and "mmmm"s when I'm talking to him, asks me for opinions then either doesn't respond, doesn't follow or again, just nods absently; loves NOT turning off the comp (!!!)...
But in spite of allllllll these, he's still the adorable one and his flaws, when compared to mine, are way negligible
Suraj, I just want you to know... I love the way you love me. And I love being able to love you. I'm sure I'm able to do it only because it's YOU. Sometime I do wonder if I'd have been happier if I'd married a richer guy, or a guy who would read all the books I love, or a guy who would hate TV as much as I do, or a guy who would love to walk in the rains with me, or a guy who would live life with as much abandon as I do -- and I always end up with the same conclusion: No, I wouldn't be happier, nor would I be half this happy. Because, irrespective of what that guy does, I'd miss this pure, unadulterated love I get from you!
And I'm so glad you asked me those crazy questions one day long back, and gave me a chance to blurt out all those shocking responses If it weren't for your curiosity, we may not have been together now.
I just cannot thank you enough for agreeing to be mine Here...I dedicate this to you. I think it shows and voices a lot of our love and how we've had it so far