More pumbaastic updates

It’s been long since I wrote this and this about him. It’s time for some more.

• In another 3 days, he will turn two! Oh my god. How time flies. Beeg boy he is now; only, he doesn’t know that, and refuses to even want to know .
• He had an attack of gluten allergy recently. The last time I was home, no matter how lightly you pat him, anywhere on his body, he’d be extremely ticklish. Took him to the vet who said it could be a gluten problem. Asked us to avoid giving him his favourite chappatis and cake and generally all things sweet. Poor baby.
• Whenever my brother raises his voice (generally in frustration at technology issues), Pumbaa runs to pacify him, thinking his presence can make everything alright. And well, works like a charm, every single time
• Whenever I video chat with my folks back home, I call out to Pumbaa, with a few words ONLY I use on him. He comes, peers at the screen for a while, registers my face…and then goes mad, wags his tail furiously…and eventually jump on my brother or Amma, whoever is sitting there
• The moment he realises he may have done something wrong, he bolts and hides under the sofa He thinks we can’t reach him there. Happened twice last time i was home, and how much I laughed! We were all sitting around the dining table in the evening, having tea. Pumbaa was also lying beside my chair. Amma slowly stepped around him, and in the process knocked over her cup of tea. And I loudly asked “What are you doing Amma?”…and Pumbaa bolted. ROFL. Took a lot of convincing before he believed he was not at fault for the spilt tea. A day later, I was playing tug with him, and as I let go of his toy, he jumped towards me with the toy dangling from his mouth. It came and hit me on my nose, right where I’d pierced it. And I went “Ouch”. In fact, I did not make a sound. I just stiffened, and clutched my face. And he bolted. ROFL. Despite the pain and the million stars dancing around, I had to get down on all fours to convince him he didn’t do anything, and was still my sweetheart
• He gets two boiled eggs every morning, between 10 and 12. Wherever he is — terrace, near the gate, in my brother’s room, in a slumber — at the sound of shell cracking, he’s at Amma’s side!
• Whenever Amma goes out, he goes into depression. From the time she dresses up till she actually leaves, he’s this nicechild — all love, convincing her that it’s absolutely safe to take him along too. And when she actually does leave, he cocks his head to the right and looks at her, asking “How can you!?” Awww moment it always is. And no matter what treat she leaves him with, he refuses to eat till she’s back. And when she returns, he grabs the abandoned treat, goes to his ‘snack bar’ and munches on it, as if to say “Oh!I’m busy, and don’t really care you’re back, you abandoner!”
• Amma made him an excellent bed, got him accustomed to using a pillow and everything. It lasted for 2 days. He prefers the settee in the living room Being the sensible one he is, he knows NOT to get on it during the day. And when it is bed time, dad brings out his bed sheet and covers the settee with it. All the while Pumbaa keeps trotting from one side to the other, impatient to get on it. It is only when dad says “OK” that he gets on it, though. Darling.
• He hates ticks being plucked out of him. but the moment we take on out, he gets all restless, and has to be allowed to peer/sniff at it before we kill it Such a funny sight it is!
• He loves the fisher woman that comes to our place. All the while that she’s at work cutting and cleaning the fish Amma buys, he sits by her side, giving her company. He does NOT lick at the fish. He has no plans to run off with a piece. No hidden agendas. Just wants to patiently sit by her side, making sure she doesn’t feel lonely. She loves him too, which is a good thing. Calls him her “muthu” (pearl/something precious) there. Cuteness overload.
• Whatever we buy — stationery, clothes, all non-vegetables — have to be given to him to sniff, and approve for use It’s funny how he religiously sniffs every single item, then walks away without claiming any of the items. Chakkara.
• Dad buys a kilo of beef every Sunday, then chops it up and divides it into 6 equal packs and stores in the freezer; taking one measure out everyday for his meal. Every Sunday, as Dad chops the beef, Pumbaa sits beside him patiently, drooling a sea around him, catching with precision the few pieces dad tosses at him Want to learn the art of patience? Be with Pumbaa during Sunday beef session

What hasn’t changed

• The ass sniffing
• Understanding every.single.thing we say about/to him
• Loving us unconditionally; being loved right back, equally unconditionally
• Being a blessing
• Being a joy to be around
• Being the light of our lives
• Being Pumbaastic

That’s all for now. Again, for certain people who “turn to mush seeing his pics”, here are some of the more recent pics on his very own page. Scroll right down!

Been a while since…

…I blogged last — not just posting on mine, but commenting on the million other posts I religiously read.

…I cooked a proper meal. Like, a complete lunch/dinner the way I used to.

…I really got down to gardening. I force myself to water them frequently to keep them alive.

…I spoke to my best buddies from school.

…I sang a full song, loud and clear.

…I’ve met some ex-colleagues I’ve been really wanting to meet (some things just do NOT happen).

…I’ve gone about taking random photographs. The camera is dying under a layer of dust (not literally).

…I’ve been fired by anyone for a really weird reason.

…I’ve done something mindless.

…I spent some real good time with family.

Been a while since I’ve been me. Sucks. Bah.

In Life. Just be fair.

I’m tired of writing come-back posts. So, don’t count this as one. For, I’m almost sure I’ll go off again.

Blogging, when in a bad state of mind, is not something I do or even want to do. Hehe…too many people may get hurt, shocked, whatever. So I’m not here to explain why I have been hibernating, for the umpteenth time. I just wanted to tell you…

I’m still kind of reeling under the effect of a major insight into what we fondly, angrily, exasperatedly and hopefully call ‘Life’! That no one has any right to judge another person—no matter what that person may have done or said.

I’m not the kind who sees or meets someone, judges them immediately (as being funny, nice, trustworthy, full of attitude, creepy, and so on) and compartmentalise them. I take my time, give them their space and study them well before I decide if I like them, love them, trust them, dislike them, hate them… But yes, over a period, I do end up judging them—as being good or bad. If they do/say something that is so against my principles and what I consider ‘right’, I do judge them. I suppose it is human.

And when I say we should not judge “no matter what that person may have done or said”, I mean it quite literally. Now, if you ask me if we should not judge someone who has committed a heinous crime—such as a murder for instance—well, I still think we shouldn’t. While you may judge someone for a physical murder, you may reach a point in life where you murder someone’s spirits, kill them mentally. As long as you destroy a person, it does not matter how. The end result is the same in both cases.

So yes, whatever whoever does—there is always a reason. The only thing is that their right maybe our wrong. What we cannot fathom, must have come so naturally to them, thanks to a lot of catalysts. Someone hates his parents, someone cuts off her best friend, someone falls out of love, someone cheats on a partner, someone walks out on his marriage, someone takes another person for a ride, someone steals, someone kills… They all have their reasons which we may never even be a million miles close to finding, ever.

So, when we judge someone, I think we need to know that at some point in time, invariably, we will find ourselves in that spot—the spot where that person we judged stood. At that time, our eyes will open wide, something will go smack in the head, make us stop in our tracks, feel our body go limp, sense our jaw drop…and we’ll be like ‘Oh my God…I never thought I’d ever be here /do this /say this…”

But one day, you will. We all will. I did. And I’m still shocked. I did NOT have this in mind, ever. I did not think I’d ever be where I am right now. But the fact is that I am…and I’m really shocked.

I guess the best we can do in life is to be fair—to the ones we love, hate, hurt, respect, bear with… Just be fair. Be fair, but don’t be sacrificial. Give them their chance at life, but not at the cost of yours. Grant them their happiness, but don’t lose yours.

OK, this is a little strange right now. I’m bad at these kinds of talks. So let me just admit I’m shocked, but I’m not sad about it. It could not have been avoided. Really. I did try. Quite many times, in many ways.

God, I’m shocked.

Some more Pumbaastic updates :)

It’s been long since I wrote this about him; and boy, has he changed!

• He is now a year and 5 months, almost; a grown(p)up but he refuses to acknowledge that. He still is (and looks like he always will be) a kid.
• He devours bananas. He takes—one at a time—from a bunch that’s kept on the fruit tray below the dining table, goes to his snack bar, peels it, eats it and leaves the skin there. The first time I saw this happening, I gaped.
• He eats dates, most carefully. He devours it like it’s the last morsel of food he’ll ever get—and then he slowly lowers his head and rolls out his tongue, from which will roll out a spotless date seed.
• He is no longer the aviyal-loving, curd-loving, give-me-anything-home-made-and-I-shall-eat sweet little thing. He has preferences. :-/
• There are days when he just decides he does not want to eat on his own. So he’ll look at his plate, walk around, look at one of us, walk around…generally letting us know “I’m hungry, but I am not going to eat by myself”. When one of us (mostly mom or me, no one else falls for these ) take it bit by bit and feed him like feeding a little kid, he finishes every morsel of food on his plate
• When in one of his moods, he hunts out every single piece of chicken/beef/fish from the rice-meat mix we give him and leaves every grain of rice there!
• He does NOT appreciate Pedigree or anything similar for more than a day (or two, max!) at a time.
• The ONE thing he cannot stay away from, and drools till there’s a sea around him, is “the cake”! He cannot even control himself from jumping up and biting it right off your hand (without hurting you of course!) It always amazes us, his greed for cakes
• He understands every.single.thing we say about/to him. How he responds/obeys, is totally dependent on his mood though
• The one command he obeys unconditionally is “Stay”. For every other command, he obeys or ignores based on the presence or absence of food in the commander’s hands
• When we ask him where his “toy” is, he scrambles all over the house like mad till he finds it. After that, he expects us to play with him till he tires out. And if we try to ignore him, he catches hold of our legs (one paw across a leg, holding it close to his head so we wont move!) and makes sure we say “OK, let’s play!”
• Every time he comes with the toy to play, if we tell him “I have work, Pumbaa. I’ve to cook/eat/clean up. I’ll play with you after that”, he puts the toy down and lies beside it, following our every move. The moment that particular work is done, he comes to us with the toy, almost asking “You’re done now. Can we play?”
• We have different names for his toys, and he identifies each one when we ask for a specific one by name! [Yes, I know some kids who can do that ]
• He is in love! With pretty little “Twinkle”, a Beagle that stays in our neighbourhood. Well, I’m in love with her too! But this is like serious love! The minute she reaches close to our gate, she starts pulling on her leash and makes sure there’s a stop at our gate. As for Pumbaa, whatever he is doing right then, he ditches it all, and bounds down the stairs. Then there’s much kissing and licking and pawing from two sides of a gate. It’s the cutest sight. Really. And when Twinkle is led away and looks back forlornly, her owners promise to bring her the next day, and she lets out one tiny woof and goes off. Replay happens next day evening
• He gets extremely jealous if he sees any of us hugging/kissing someone other than him. Suraj hugs me, he jumps at Suraj. My brother hugs me, he jumps at my brother. My brother hugs my mother, he jumps at my brother. I hug my mother, he jumps at my mother OK…looks like my mom and I are his alone!
• There are times when Suraj leashes him to our living room door (for too much mischief), and he lies down there patiently. Till he sees that I’ve sat down beside Suraj on the couch. He can no longer sleep, but he would still lie there, watching us all the time. I would then slowly lean on to Suraj…and Pumbaa would invariably sit up straight and let out pathetic whines. And then Suraj would put his arm around me and hold me close—and Pumbaa would be on his feet, whining, barking, pulling at his leash and being generally pissed off till we both say “OK…we won’t touch”. He then becomes quiet, and sits, but not quite happily, till I go pet him. He then goes off to sleep till I sit near Suraj the next time
• He thinks anyone except Amma is allowed to scold him. Amma, however, is his playmate. No matter what he does how, she is NOT supposed to scold. He sulks like mad if she does
• He sniffs our backsides all the time I read somewhere that that’s how dogs collect data/information about people. Why he has to collect data on the same people every time they get up from their seats, beats me! There are times we have to stand pressed to the wall and say “No, Pumbaa. No!” and he gives us a forlorn look and backs off. Not for long, though. He has even learnt to do it discreetly. The embarrassment, however, is when he sniffs and then blows his nose loudly and forcefully, shaking his head, like he just inhaled some hydrogen sulphide!

That’s all for now. Waiting for him to finish off his 2-month vacation, to come back and give me fodder for more updates For certain people who “turn to mush seeing his pics”, here are some of the more recent pics on his very own page. Scroll right down

Faceoff!

I deleted my Facebook account a week back. Ok, that’s a lie. I only ‘de-activated’ it, I didn’t delete it. I promised Facebook that “This is temporary. I’d be back”, before I hit ‘Confirm’. Plenty of people asked me why I did it.

-  “What ARE you saying!? Why?” I’m saying I deleted my FB account. Why not?
-  The plain old “Whaaaat!?”. What whaaaat?
-  A more concerned “What happened? All OK?” Nothing, why do you ask? All OK.
-  And a shock-inducing “why on earth did u delete ur FB account????….did u delete it or jus deactivated it ???.. seriously??? ..y did u delete it??…anybody offended u or something??…” Why on earth do you use so many punctuation marks?????!!!!!!
-  Someone also gave me the “:-o”, and did not even wait to see my own “:-o” in response.

I deleted Orkut one fine morning, and did not miss it at all! No one questioned me, no one even realized. I guess ALL of them were too busy on Facebook to notice. However, in this case, I did absentmindedly type “faceb” on a new tab right after opening Gmail a couple of times, each time going ‘Oooops’ before I closed the said tab. Well, it had become a habit, I suppose. Open Mozilla, type in gmail.com, open new tab, type in facebook.com, open new tab…

Anyway, nothing happened. I only deactivated it. No one offended me. I just decided I should de-addict myself and stay away for a while. It was not adding ANY value whatsoever. The ones I was ‘really’ in touch with was available on Gtalk, all the time. I did not have to ‘connect with them’ on a public platform and have interesting conversations just anyone could ‘Like’, comment on or ‘Share’. And well, I began feeling a bit sick about telling the whole world what I “did” with whom during any part of the day or night.

Plus, a couple of things did make me feel ‘ugh’ in general.

- Random people sending me friend requests.

o Hey-I’m-your-friend’s-friend-and-i-love-the-comments-you-leave-on-his/her-pages-so-let’s-be-friends
o I-have-this-urge-to-send-friend-requests-to-any-profile-that-has-a-girl’s-name-and-picture
o I-just-sent-you-a-request-but-maybe-you-did-not-see-it-so-I’ll-leave-you-a-message-as-well-so you’ll-remember-to-accept

- Blatant ‘ownership’ drives for old jokes, not-so-famous sayings, philosophical thoughts and the like…

o Type it down in own words and pretend it is something the person just came up with while having pasta and kanjivellam
o Type in one of my own pjs and post it as a quote (!!) followed by a hyphen and that person’s name! (No, I did not feel flattered at all.)
o Basically, too much Ctrl C + Ctrl V without giving credits where they are due.

- People questioning me on why I took them off my friend list (the options I can offer are):

o We’re not really “friends”
o Because, after the first “Hi. Good to find you on FB…”, we’ve never commented on or ‘Share’d or ‘Like’d each other’s pics/updates,
or even had a chat ever
o Because I like figuring out who my ‘friends’ really are, and keeping just them
o You did not do anything to me (and I really don’t want you to, either)
o No, you didn’t hurt/offend me; if you did, I wouldn’t stop at just ‘unfriend’ing you

- General fatigue from all the fakeness overload.

o You don’t talk to me if we meet in person;
o You don’t ever make the mistake of getting in touch with me;
o You subtly say or do things to let me (or people you know will convey it to me) know that you really don’t like me.
o BUT you ‘Like’ my pics, updates, comments and even “wish there was a ‘Love’ option over ‘Like’. Phew.

- Updates that end up spamming my wall some of which could go like:

o “Having tea out on my balcony before I have a 45 minute bath, put on my Sunday best and head out for lunch at ___ restaurant with (spouse), meet X, Y and Z for tea and party till midnight at K’s place. Life is sooo good. What are you doing today?” Is “trying to unfriend you without you getting to know” a suitable response?
o Heavenly breakfast — with ABC DEF; Awesome lunch. Full tummy, empty wallet — with ABC DEF; Dinner couldn’t have been better — with ABC DEF; Off to bed – with ABC DEF (Will you update again in a couple of hours? Should I wait? )
o Must buy a new bulb for the kitchen (hmmm…how about one for the brain as well?); About to change the bulb in the kitchen (should I pray for you? or for the bulb, perhaps?); Changed the bulb in kitchen. (Hooray, big round of applause, people!)

- Having to worry about who all in the friend list will tell who all that is NOT in the list, about what I update about what, when, who, why—and then be held responsible for hurt feelings, broken hearts, blame games and the likes. (Dang. Where is the ‘delete account’ option?)

So why did I not just delete the account? Well, silly it will sound…but that’s for Pumbaa’s sake To keep all the awesome comments he got on his photo album in my account. I really did not want to delete them forever. What if, later in life, he asks me what people had to say about his days as a pup? So, till I’m back to FB-ing, I shall badmouth the various kinds of FB users and pretend to be the enlightened one who is above them all

P.S.: This whole post materialized after a conversation with a certain someone to whom I said — Hey, I deleted my FB account two days back…so would you be a darling and post this there, saying “Dedicated just for me, by Priya Nayar. She thinks too much of Spiderman love can do this to me verrrrry soon.”? ’

.

Now most of you know who fired multiple questions at me, with an overload of punctuation marks

when life throws lemons at you…

I haven’t been blogging for quite a while now; life got on to a roller coaster (which has happened before) but got derailed this time (which has never happened before) No major casualties, but definitely left a few bruises will stay for quite a while.

Too many changes happened. Some were planned, some were expected (but hoped not to happen) and some just took me by utter surprise.

I don’t take too kindly to that kind of utter surprise. Sudden changes in decisions, plans, dreams, life, so on and so forth, do not really fall in my list of “I love”s. I am the kind that actually needs time to accept a change and adapt to it well. Even an unplanned movie plan can put me in turmoil. I’m not kidding, it really can. Ask Suraj, if you need evidence As someone who absolutely LOVES giving surprises, the poor thing has to think a million times before he can give me one (and finally, he always decides not to).

I always need time to prepare myself to major changes: like job changes, relocations, letting people come into and go from my life…

So, when life suddenly throws lemons at me, my first instinct is to duck under the table, rather than make some lemonade out of them.

To start with, I had to quit a job I liked because of certain people and reasons. Then a relocation was briefly considered, which I finally decided will NOT happen. Then my parents relocated back to Trivandrum (and took Pumbaa with them for a while). And then we decided to move houses, which further depressed me, for I’m quite comfortable in the house we live in, and is totally in love with Koramangala (I now totally understand what she meant when she wrote this. And then a few other things happened, which I really do not want to talk about here. So basically, life’s not been too good so far. I don’t think I like 2012 too much 2011 was fun and generally stress-free.

The good things: I’m still in the same house; I’ve got myself a new job (which also gave me a laptop, though I still miss my T410…but well, it serves the purpose well enough); I’m still in my ‘initial days’ at work, making me generally jobless and helping me get back to my blog; I participated in a Blogstar competition at work, and both my posts got featured in the top 15 of a total of 56 posts (yay!!) ; I’m back to my travel-by-volvo days, and enjoying it much; I am back in charge of the kitchen, since the senior chef ran off to Trivandrum forever…and I’ve held on for a month and half now, without eating out most days like we used to before the parents came to B’lore (makes me pretty proud of myself ); I’m back to gardening and talking to my plants and making sure they’re happy—which is actually because of Pumbaa’s absence (he used to make sure he got all my time and attention).

So yes, there are a few good things that make me happy; but the bad ones are quite phenomenal, and damn depressing. I try to push them to the bottom of the pile, but well, they keep coming up for air every now and then. Basically, am not very good company now So, be happy none of you are we-talk-daily friends with me

I’ve been reading all your posts, ‘liked’ some of them and just quietly left without making my presence known on some others. While it makes me happy to know happiness is happening to many of you out there, I’m also quite frustrated that I’m not in the frame of mind/life to be able to be blissfully happy that way.

While we are at it, I’d like to thank my brother, Hobbes, and Vimmuuu (without knowing at all that I’m in no mood to tolerate his nonsense), for making me laugh like mad in some of my down-in-the-dumps moments and making me momentarily forget that I’m dodging lemons.

Life, I tell you! Sigh.

I miss you…

…so very much.

I wish I never let you go. I wish I’d held on to my selfishness and held on to you stronger. I also wish I had not got so attached to you. Well, you gave me no option, did you, but to love you so much, so deeply, so genuinely…you being you?

It is heart breaking to go home now. There is no one waiting for me, no hugs, no wet kisses, no show of emotions that lets me know that I’d been missed, and it’s great to have me home. There is nothing you left behind, for me to hold on to when I miss you like crazy; all I have now are some photographs of those happy days, which I go over every single day, remembering those precise moments, those days of pure joy—and love.

Everything I do now—right from when I wake up in the morning, to when I go to bed—I wonder what you’d have done if you were here…how you’d have reacted…how I may have done it differently, just for you…how much happier I’d have been, having you, knowing you’re there, every moment.

A full day at home is so unbelievably depressing. I have no one to talk to for hours together; no one to just sit with in silence and feel absolutely content; no one to take a walk with on a nice evening; no one to share my cookie with; no one to pester and generally have some fun with; no one to drive me mad and then make me laugh; no one to hug and cry my heart out when I’m depressed; no one to look at me calmly and let me know it’ll be OK; no one that is YOU.

Why, oh why, did I let you go? What was I thinking? I never knew anyone could bring such meaning into my life, mean so much to me, and then just drive off one morning breaking my heart into a million pieces…and leaving me to deal with a difficult life all by myself.

Please come back. I’m so in love with you, I can’t bear to not have you by my side. Can’t live without seeing you everyday…hugging you every moment I can, telling you how much I love you, and just how glad I am that I have you in my life. And right now, I really need you with me. Really, really. Come back…

Pumbaa, please come back. I miss you…so very much, Chakkare

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Edited to add (after I realised people are worried about what happened to Pumbaa): He is totally fine, vacationing with my parents, in Trivandrum…and will be back only by end of March. Been over a month since he left And while we’re at it, I miss my parents too