I’m so lazy these days, I’m wondering if I’ll ever ever be able to ‘work’ again….I think my career has gone for a six already (I’m due back in office in a couple of months’ time…but I’m not sure any more that’ll be an intelligent thing for my boss to do! )
Boredom and laziness can always work towards giving you weird ideas and crappy imagination. And it’s wonders had started working one me. Anyway, I was so out-of-mood and bored that I began telling myself “Have a life, Priya! Go out with friends, shop, read something, do some work…don’t just sit there like a lifeless chair (now, since when have there been chairs with life?)“, when I started wondering what all other lifeless stuff would do if they ‘had their lives’
Well, in my limited imagination and perspective, the hitherto ‘lifeless’ stuff around me would probably behave in the following ways: (I am sure they won’t approve of my perspective and will have better things to do. My bed would probably prefer walking around the house aimlessly and plopping on me every once in a while )
Yea, to begin with, the bed! I’m sure it’d love to turn upside down and lie on me with all its weight if it had a choice. I’m sure the cot would be extremely touchy, walk over to the nearby shop for ‘Super Glue’ and stick itself to the floor!
The table in my room would probably put up a board “Do not litter me, use the waste bin instead!”, and the waste bin would feel bored and neglected (unless the table and the bin gets into a deal!) Am sure I give them enough opportunity for a decent barter system.
My cupboard would sue me for choking it (even in its present lifeless state, it throws up throws out every single clothing of mine every time I yank the doors open. The cupboard doors, am sure, will have high blood pressure (holding the weight of all my clothes when its closed )
The bathroom would be the only happy ‘person’, I guess. I’m a pretty good singer and am always in full-throated musical extravaganza every time I enter in there (even now, it supports me with a lot of echo )…and well, not to mention the opportunity of seeing me naked, countless no. of times . But the washbasin would be a perpetual pneumonia patient (and suffer from high degrees of humiliation ). I refrain myself from thinking aloud of the EC’s (european closet) feelings!
My toothbrush will probably think I’m a skunk of sorts . My comb would die of overwork. My handbag would probably wish it were born as a waste bin and do the same job it does now, but with dignity!
The PC would constantly swear at me in digital languages (!!) and sent out sparks (its way of kicking, since it has no legs ) The mouse, am sure, will wish there was a cat around and could attain salvation! Combined, the whole system would curse me for leaving the stinking deadbody of my UPS unburied for such a long time (read as years)
My phone…ah! Its reactions and feelings, I got no clue about. For all the injustice I do to it (frequently dropping it; spraying it with water; almost-killing-it-by-leaving-it-chargeless for too long; leaving it around, making it scream for me endlessly when someone calls; and sitting on it now and then), I’m sure my phone will send out SMSs that say “save me from this moron(ess)” to my friends’ phones !
The TV would probably feel giddy at all times from too much channel switching…and would lose its mental stability (making it two maniacs in one house ).
My house will move out of town!
…am not even getting to what these ‘lifeless stuffs’ would do in vengeance If you ask me, I’m sure my bed would love to bulge its belly and burp out loud, throwing me off it! And the cot would probably grab me by my leg and swing me this way and that! The dirtiest (pun intended) vengeance would be of the EC :D . I shudder to think of it!
Now, what do you think stuff in your house/office would do to you?