Hehe…no, this is not the review — because I haven’t seen it. Yet.
Disclaimer: Whatever follows are my views only and is not intended to hurt anyone, so please do not take offence. This is meant to be a ‘funny’ post. If it doesn’t make you laugh, I shall hone my humour skills. But if it makes you angry, please calm down, take a deep breath and close the tab/window 😀 )
I was in one of those brain-blocked moods, with nothing to do. I was blog-hopping, trying to land up on something really interesting. Well, I guess the best bloggers are already on my roll 😉 😛 ! Either that, or I was too dumb to understand what was written in all these new ones I hopped into. 😀
I was fighting against boredom, crawling up the slope of irritation and frustration (one followed by the other) and finally saw my latest, favourite hobby loom up ahead — and I promptly started cursing Christianity. 😀 😀 (1st round was for Hinduism; am done with it! 😛 )
I’ve been caught up in this great urge for blasphemy recently! I’ve been having sessions with a Christian lady who is trying to teach me Christianity. It’s a recent mishap. I got into it voluntarily, now am striking a delicate balance… to resist being pulled in and avoid being pulled out 😀 Though I find the religion, the faith very nice (and a lot too similar to Hinduism), I despise the Church and the priests for skewing it up! And in the process, though a part of me likes the faith quite a lot, a bigger part absolutely despises the Church (read as preachers)! 😀 And well, ahem, I’m fed up of these classes and am in hiding now. 😀 I do not attend her calls and am pretending to be out-of-town (forever)! 😉
Meanwhile, relatives and friends who know of this recent religious awakening of mine, are trying to convince me why Hinduism is superior to any other faith. How we are more tolerant. How they are violent and murderous. And I’m delving deeper and deeper into blasphemy! 😛 (Any Muslims who wanna preach and send me deeper down ?) 😀
“Priya! Don’t talk like that. Blasphemy will get you nowhere. You’ll be a sinner. You will not be one with God. You’ll not attain salvation.” (Gist of what the Christian lady tells me!) 😐
“Priya! Don’t talk like that. Christians and Muslims are totally different. They’ll do everything to pull you into their faith. We are a different class of people. We are tolerant. We accept. We are open minded. They are not.” (Gist of what my relatives and friends keep telling me.) 😐
I am not an atheist, in the true sense of that word. But I do not believe in “Gods” who have form, body and sound. I can never fathom a God who walks down in a king’s attire wearing necklaces and bangles and anklets and earrings and a crown (some dress sense, I must say! 😛 ). I cannot fathom a God who drapes himself in a white cloak, has a long white beard and speaks unto humans in a booming voice from the skies…or in His Son who can walk on water and perform miracles, but cannot realise He’s being plotted against and then dies a painful death! (Love and forgiveness? Crap!) In this wide, wide (er er…round) world, I really cannot fathom a God who makes devotees go sit somewhere at about 80 km from the Red Sea Coast! (If God is powerful and omni-present, why not bless them at their houses?!) 😐
“Bah!”, I think, “God! Divinity! Rubbish! What I need now, is to watch Rock-on! I’v been bombarded by raving reviews of the movie from all over the country!”
And then my phone rang…
It’s a number that’s foreign to me. Must be the Christian lady calling, from another number, to check if I’m out-of-town in Trivandrum 😀 !
In a voice that I’ve never heard myself speak before, I say:
“Hi, this is xxxxxx, calling from Radio Mirchi. Your number was selected at random from
a list of previous callers. You’ve won two tickets for Rock On! Would you be interested?”
“Huh? Yes…yea…yes, of course. :D”
“Come to our office anytime before Saturday. It’s for the Saturday show!”
“Bye…and keep listening to Radio Mirchi. Sangathi hot aanu!” (That’s their “It’s hot!” tagline in Malayalam.)
Divine intervention? A reminder of divine existence? God’s awareness programme?
I slowly let my phone fall on my lap…and felt that wicked smile at the corners of my lips. And I said to myself: “Priya! Blasphemy will take you to the theatre, if not anywhere else!” 😀