just a tumbler of water

It isn’t often you feel like a potential murderer. Well, today seems to be one of those strangely different, out-of-the-ordinary days!

When I read murder stories, I always marvel (in the most negative way) at the ease with which people plan to and successfully murder someone; similarly with movies. But in those cases, there’s always the consolation that it’s not for real. The shock is when such reports come in the news! And I just sit around wondering “How can a person ‘kill’ someone!?” And for someone like me who refuses to kill even an ant, it’s the biggest mystery. So, when today, I was the one scheming and planning, the shock knew no boundaries!

It’s been sometime now, that I have been contemplating on a murder. And every passing day makes me more and more determined to commit this one. I know it takes one hell of a stone-heart to even think of something like this — but I’m sure I want to do it — yes, you read it right: I want to do it.

So, now you must be wondering why the hell I’m writing about in a public forum. I do not intent to murder and act like a saint. I am totally willing to accept the consequences. I’m doing this only because my object of ‘affection’ here does not deserve to live. If I allow it to, I’ll be responsible for the wreck of two other lives. The love that existed all along will be forgotten: slowly, but steadily. And a day will come when these two lives will be totally dispensable for the other. I cannot allow for that. Better that this one dies.

I opened a Google window and started typing “how to murder a” and immediately the following options popped up:

  • how to murder a man (it’s not a man I want to murder)
  • how to murder and get away with it (not my intention; you wouldn’t be reading this if it were!)
  • how to murder a millionaire (why’d anyone wanna kill a millionaire unless you are due to receive all he’s got!?)
  • how to murder a rich uncle (if he has no kids and loves you the most, fine; else, isn’t it more sensible to be his fav nephew/niece?)
  • how to murder a and not get caught (again, i repeat, not my intention!)

Well, the option I was looking for was clearly not available. I discussed with a few close friends
— and finally decidmurdered that it should be a death-by-water! After all, most people wish to have a sip of water before they die!

Now I know how easy it is to kill. All it takes is some amount of hatred, some amount of despair and a huge amount of determination and reckless disregard for all value — monetary, moral and emotional! In my case, I’ll need just one more thing: a tumbler of water.

Once I’m done, and this post is crawled over by the search engine, Google will add one more item to its current list of “how to murder a”. It’ll have an option for “how to murder a television”!

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25 thoughts on “just a tumbler of water

  1. ROFL!! despite ur request to pray for ur TV i dint get where it was heading to! By the way should i be praying for your soul instead>?? u alive? πŸ˜› Guess one of the ‘inseperable two lives’ would have taken revenge by now! πŸ˜›

  2. I still didnt understand what u were trying to kill!

    But now that you are associating it with a tumbler of water, it kindda coincides with Vimmuuu’s boiling water recipie… Whatz with it? πŸ˜‰

    First time here.. Blog Rolling you πŸ˜€

  3. @Psych Babbler
    Thank! πŸ™‚

    @Reema
    Yup! Totally! πŸ˜€

    @Vinayak
    πŸ˜€ What we’re you imagining!?

    @AV
    πŸ˜€

    @Ashi
    yessssssss

    @Sakhi
    You’re married? And you dont hate te TV yet??? πŸ˜€

    @Verbi
    πŸ˜€ Nope. I survived. Miracles do happen.

    @Anu
    Anytime, girl! πŸ™‚ Anything to kill a TV

    @Gayathri
    Welcome to AlphabetWorld! πŸ™‚
    Thanks a lot. You left no link for me!

    @Aditi
    Welcome to AlphabetWorld! πŸ™‚
    πŸ˜€ What were you imagining!?? And where did you pop in from? Left me no link 😦

    @Po
    Sacred soul!? That stupid marriage wrecker? Reeeeeally!? πŸ˜€
    Thanks!

    @maya / uncommon
    Welcome to ALphabetWorld! πŸ™‚
    Thanks a lot! πŸ™‚ I know…am hoping that happens…and other suffering wives get the link πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

    @Suji!
    Welcome to AlphabetWorld! πŸ™‚
    LOL — the TV!! I’m trying to kill the TV πŸ˜€
    And NO! it’s in no way connected to his water-boiling class! πŸ˜€
    And thanks for the blog roll. Doing the same here. πŸ™‚

    @Aditya
    Welcome to AlphabetWorld! πŸ™‚
    Nope…no Rakhi Sawant — French, Germain, Spanish, Czechoslovakian, italian and Gjlfkjkjshf movies! πŸ˜€
    Thanks πŸ™‚

  4. OMG noooooooooooooooo!!
    not the TV!!!

    How could u do such a cruel thing?
    Thts the only thing tht keeps us men alive!

    Oh no! i better leave now before i become a victim myself!

    btw im rakesh πŸ™‚ dont kill me

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