Day 20: The voice of my subconscious

When I wrote this post yesterday, I had a lot of questions kicking up a mini-storm in my head, derailing my otherwise logical thought process. When Varsh commented that if only we knew all the answers, life would be much less complicated, I told her travel was the answer to everything, especially if to somewhere in the Himalayan region 😉

Which is true, of course. But, when you are not all set for travel, there is another source for answers to these kinds of questions! And, that’s in Hobbes. If you follow Calvin and Hobbes, you’re probably nodding your head right now. Haven’t you wondered how Calvin always asks these philosophical, highly intriguing and seemingly rhetorical questions, only to have Hobbes respond with the simplest answers? Little surprise then, that the answer is in yourself 🙂 In the rare chance that you actually get it from another person altogether, then be assured that person is, in essence, your subconscious!

Anyway, after I posted this yesterday, I got well told off by my subconscious, who then sat me down and took those questions one by one.

Here are enlightenments from my subconscious (up for debate, though not for agreement, because my subconscious is mine own and might think and perform differently from yours for good measure)

Q: Reflections, when ugly, are never the mirror’s fault. It is the fault of the “object” and the “light” that reflects off it at a bad angle. But you do need the mirror to show that to you. Unless you choose to never look in the mirror. Is that wise, though?
A: Not at all. Though, if in your search for ugly reflections, you’re missing out on the beautiful ones, then you’re defeating the whole purpose of reflections and probably should stop it right away! Or, look for the beautiful ones instead and see how they weigh against the ugly ones. Whatever you do, make sure the outcome is a good one. Else, don’t attempt it. It gives you no returns in the long run.

Q: Looking back at the past and drawing lines to the present…is that a good thing to do? Does reflecting on the past and regretting not acting on a certain intuition then…make it sensible to consider that decision now?
A: Yes, it is a great thing to do to help you spot potholes from afar and steer away from them. But unless the people, situations and feeling are the exact same now as they were then, that decision from then is irrelevant in the now. It’s got to be a fresh, well thought out one that will consider and help you brace against impact from all angles.

Q: Are intuitions any good, or is it just a fancy term for a comparison at different levels? Are they just bad feelings to brush off with Hope and Faith, or are they things needing serious thought?
A: Intuitions are good, to be listened to. They’re not fancy or to be brushed off at any time. Please, always listen. Never walk into something you have doubts about. If you’re not convinced, don’t do it.

Q: How much, what kind and when is it OK to forgive? If you cannot forget, what’s the point in forgiving, when memory serves to rekindle the same feelings many times over? How genuine, then, is that forgiveness…and how fruitful?
A: If it didn’t include physical abuse/violence and deliberate false accusations/character assassination, the rest could be considered forgivable. This is a matter of personal choice, of course. But broadly, if it is in someone’s character to accept fault and be corrected, then they deserve that chance at forgiveness. But, just one chance. It’s good to not forget, because if life slaps you in the face again, you know what and how you survived previously. It makes you stronger, wiser. Forgetting something is not in anyone’s immediate control, but the forgiveness can be truly genuine if it is from the heart, with no unhealthy intentions…and highly fruitful in salvaging a lot that matters in life.

Q: How can you weigh the unknown repercussions of your decisions against your future happiness? What if your intuition fails you and you don’t take what could have been the best decision of your life?
A: Everyone knows the answer to this 🙄 It’s the future we’re talking about! Don’t, and you can’t, plan it.

Q: How trustworthy can today’s promises be, when tomorrow is a whole new day?
A: Go ahead and trust – it will do you good. It does make you vulnerable, yes, but not if you’re in the right hands. So, before you call on your heart and trust someone (again), call on your mind and make that smart assessment of whose promises will be kept and whose will not. But please, do trust. For people cannot rip open their hearts and show you that they mean it – they can only tell you and hope for your trust.

Q: Does anyone know how the scalded cat, that feared even cold water, finally got over its fear? Is fear a good reason to not believe?
A: Well, this is a secret of my species; I’m not really allowed to divulge it to your kind. But for you, and only for you, I shall. We just got thirsty. Think about it…if we relied on fear as a good reason to believe that water (in all forms) was going to burn us, we’d have all died of thirst and become extinct. So, no – fear is never a good reason to not believe; fact is.

Q: In an attempt to stay positive, is it wise to brush the unknown, unexpected and unhappy under the carpet?
A: No. Well, the unknown and unexpected are not in your control. The unhappy, however, is. Goes a little back to the first question, really. But if the attempt to stay positive is supported by fact, faith, trust and hope, then maybe (just maybe) brush it under for now. Because, there will always be an opportunity to lift that carpet and clean it up for good.

Q: How late is too late?
A: It’s never too late, for anything. No decision you take is the final decision of your life, unless it is to take your life itself. Which I, as your subconscious, will never let you do: because your life is mine too…and I am, because you are.

If there is one thing I’m grateful for in life, it is my subconscious 🙂 What would I do without you!?

Day 19: Reflections…

…when ugly, are never the mirror’s fault. It is the fault of the “object” and the “light” that reflects off it at a bad angle. But you do need the mirror to show that to you. Unless you choose to never look in the mirror. Is that wise, though?

Looking back at the past and drawing lines to the present…is that a good thing to do? Does reflecting on the past and regretting not acting on a certain intuition then…make it sensible to consider that decision now?

Are intuitions any good, or is it just a fancy term for a comparison at different levels? Are they just bad feelings to brush off with Hope and Faith, or are they things needing serious thought?

How much, what kind and when is it OK to forgive? If you cannot forget, what’s the point in forgiving, when memory serves to rekindle the same feelings many times over? How genuine, then, is that forgiveness…and how fruitful?

How can you weigh the unknown repercussions of your decisions against your future happiness? What if your intuition fails you and you don’t take what could have been the best decision of your life?

How trustworthy can promises be, when tomorrow is a whole new day?

Does anyone know how the scalded cat, that feared even cold water, finally got over its fear? Is fear a good reason to not believe?

In an attempt to stay positive, is it wise to brush the unknown, unexpected and unhappy under the carpet?

How late is too late?

Bored? Then Rock on !

Hehe…no, this is not the review — because I haven’t seen it. Yet.

Disclaimer: Whatever follows are my views only and is not intended to hurt anyone, so please do not take offence. This is meant to be a ‘funny’ post. If it doesn’t make you laugh, I shall hone my humour skills. But if it makes you angry, please calm down, take a deep breath and close the tab/window 😀 )

I was in one of those brain-blocked moods, with nothing to do. I was blog-hopping, trying to land up on something really interesting. Well, I guess the best bloggers are already on my roll 😉 😛 ! Either that, or I was too dumb to understand what was written in all these new ones I hopped into. 😀

I was fighting against boredom, crawling up the slope of irritation and frustration (one followed by the other) and finally saw my latest, favourite hobby loom up ahead — and I promptly started cursing Christianity. 😀 😀 (1st round was for Hinduism; am done with it! 😛 )

I’ve been caught up in this great urge for blasphemy recently! I’ve been having sessions with a Christian lady who is trying to teach me Christianity. It’s a recent mishap. I got into it voluntarily, now am striking a delicate balance… to resist being pulled in and avoid being pulled out 😀 Though I find the religion, the faith very nice (and a lot too similar to Hinduism), I despise the Church and the priests for skewing it up! And in the process, though a part of me likes the faith quite a lot, a bigger part absolutely despises the Church (read as preachers)! 😀 And well, ahem, I’m fed up of these classes and am in hiding now. 😀 I do not attend her calls and am pretending to be out-of-town (forever)! 😉

Meanwhile, relatives and friends who know of this recent religious awakening of mine, are trying to convince me why Hinduism is superior to any other faith. How we are more tolerant. How they are violent and murderous. And I’m delving deeper and deeper into blasphemy! 😛 (Any Muslims who wanna preach and send me deeper down ?) 😀

“Priya! Don’t talk like that. Blasphemy will get you nowhere. You’ll be a sinner. You will not be one with God. You’ll not attain salvation.” (Gist of what the Christian lady tells me!) 😐

“Priya! Don’t talk like that. Christians and Muslims are totally different. They’ll do everything to pull you into their faith. We are a different class of people. We are tolerant. We accept. We are open minded. They are not.” (Gist of what my relatives and friends keep telling me.) 😐

I am not an atheist, in the true sense of that word. But I do not believe in “Gods” who have form, body and sound. I can never fathom a God who walks down in a king’s attire wearing necklaces and bangles and anklets and earrings and a crown (some dress sense, I must say! 😛 ). I cannot fathom a God who drapes himself in a white cloak, has a long white beard and speaks unto humans in a booming voice from the skies…or in His Son who can walk on water and perform miracles, but cannot realise He’s being plotted against and then dies a painful death! (Love and forgiveness? Crap!) In this wide, wide (er er…round) world, I really cannot fathom a God who makes devotees go sit somewhere at about 80 km from the Red Sea Coast! (If God is powerful and omni-present, why not bless them at their houses?!) 😐

“Bah!”, I think, “God! Divinity! Rubbish! What I need now, is to watch Rock-on! I’v been bombarded by raving reviews of the movie from all over the country!”

And then my phone rang…

It’s a number that’s foreign to me. Must be the Christian lady calling, from another number, to check if I’m out-of-town in Trivandrum 😀 !

In a voice that I’ve never heard myself speak before, I say:

“Hello?”

“Hi, this is xxxxxx, calling from Radio Mirchi. Your number was selected at random from

a list of previous callers. You’ve won two tickets for Rock On! Would you be interested?”

“Huh? Yes…yea…yes, of course. :D”

“Come to our office anytime before Saturday. It’s for the Saturday show!”

“Wow, thanks!”

“Bye…and keep listening to Radio Mirchi. Sangathi hot aanu!” (That’s their “It’s hot!” tagline in Malayalam.)

Divine intervention? A reminder of divine existence? God’s awareness programme?

I slowly let my phone fall on my lap…and felt that wicked smile at the corners of my lips. And I said to myself: “Priya! Blasphemy will take you to the theatre, if not anywhere else!” 😀

P.S.:Thank you, Radio Mirchi!
P.S.: Uh…uh…thank you, “God”! 😉
P.S. of P.S.: There was no “list of previous callers” and “random picking of numbers” 😀 The RJ who called up is a verrrrry close friend. I’d been bugging her for tickets for quite some time. She just happened to call at an apt time 😀 .
Image courtesy: cartoonstock.com, google-images

good? bad? good? bad? i do not know…

There’s nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.

So says Shakespeare’s Hamlet. Well, how more true can this be ?

There are certain people who enter your life unannounced, uninvited, yet becomes an integral part of your life. They become so much a part of your daily life that after a point, you don’t even realise what they do for you and what they don’t…you start taking them for granted…sometimes you like them; sometimes you hate; sometimes you look for them; sometimes you hide; sometimes you listen to them; sometimes you walk away…

I have one such person to talk about…

This person was not my type at all…I never thought I’d become friends with this person. But well, you can never chart out your life, can you? This person and I became friends. And being in a new city for good measure, I found much help in this person. A symbol of purity at heart, this person is very endearing to all who surround. Extremely selfless, this person would cross desert and sea to be with a person in need. Though this person would always be with everyone, wishing them good, people end up hurting this person a lot…leaving this person to wonder why good never begets good, at least, in this person’s life.

For me, this person has been a huge support and help for as long as I can remember. We have had our fights and misunderstandings, joys and happy hours….but this person, unlike me, was always unflinching in defining the meaning of friendship. I have no words that will justifiably thank this person for all that this person did for me.

This person has a heart that forgives; love is all this person ever needs and expects. This person always strives to see goodness in others…and tries to conquer people with love. Even to people who have conspired against this person, this person returns it all manifold in a lot of loving gestures and favours. This person, I would hence conclude by saying, is unique…one in a million!

But…like I mentioned earlier, this person was not my type at all…and well, maybe not all man is perfect! This person is an extremist, in a good sense, though. For this person, everything is sacred–relationships are meant to be forever! Being an independent, free person, I found myself wanting the famous “space” in my life. But this person would always be there with a piece of good advice, a helping hand or a shoulder to cry on. And when perspectives of two people are different, everything one does would seem weird to the other…and well, though there’s nothing good or bad, thinking ALWAYS makes it so… and trouble creeps in…distance separates people…difference of opinions manifest themselves as irritation, anger…one loses the ones they once liked…but sometimes, one doesn’t care…that’s what happened to us too…

This person is not in my life any more. And I am neither glad nor sad that it ended this way. We probably never deserved each other. I hope we never cross paths again. May this scissors mark the end of what we mean to the other. Goodbye!!!
image courtesy: fotolia / sxc

Finally, I saw GOD…

Yes!! I finally saw GOD. When GOD crashed down into my room and right on to my bed (from which GOD toppled over and crashed on to the floor again), GOD gave me such a scare! I was rather rude to GOD (excuse me for using ‘GOD’ all the time: I’m not quite sure if it’s a he or a she—GOD’s not even human-like, for that matter—floating around, not touching the bed, but making lil’ folds on the sheet…)

Hmmm, so as I was saying, I was rather rude to GOD because I had no idea who/what ‘it’ was…and in much irritation I said “Oh God, what the hell?”. And GOD didn’t react. GOD just stared at me (awed at my vocabulary, GOD said)! That was it! In my irritation, I didn’t even notice the floating body (the only reason I wasn’t scared to death)…and that awesome, soothing voice failed to console me.

Then GOD said Ennodu kshamikkanam…oru valya ocha kettaa veenathu. That’s Malayalam for “Please forgive me. I got scared by a really loud sound…and that’s how I fell down.” (Yes, GOD is a multi-linguist.) Then GOD went on to tell me that GOD was passing above my roof when a blaring sound from a funnel-shaped thing screamed out something—and GOD was caught off-guard, lost balance and crashed down. The funnel-shaped thing, I found out in due course, happened to be a loudspeaker attached to the pillar of the mosque near my house!

Apparently, GOD comes floating down once a while to see how things are going on on this earth…and trust me, the expression on GOD’s face when GOD told me this wasn’t all that great!

GOD went on to say GOD was happily watching beautifully-lit small trees, with stars in front of most houses the last time GOD came down to Earth (sometime late in the year, GOD said) when suddenly at the stroke of one midnight, everyone rushed into a place called “Church” and started bending down and murmuring things, looking up at another carved, human figure! Yes, GOD admitted GOD was shocked. “What’s happening to all you humans?”, GOD asked.

Before I could even answer GOD’s doubts and questions, (I’m even thinking GOD is dumb; isn’t GOD supposed to know everything? Who’s GOD trying to fool here anyways?? aha!) well, GOD goes on…GOD says GOD sees people pushing and shoving each other in this place adorned with lit lamps, floral garlands and the smell of something nice all around (I gave him an incense stick for reference, and GOD nodded; Ok, so GOD is talking about a temple!!)—what surprises GOD most is a small carved human-shaped (again!!) stone being washed with water (sometimes even with ghee and milk!) and then adorned with a cream-coloured paste (sandal, yes) and covered again with more flowers!

GOD said GOD had also witnessed people killing animals at these places (GOD uses the phrase ‘flower-garland place’), pouring money into small boxes, rolling around the entire flower-garland place—on the stone floor, that too—fasting day-in, day-out, walking around with spears right through their tongues and cheeks, walking all the way up through thorn-adorned mountains…and at the end of all this, they bow before a small carved human-shape!

GOD finds it preposterous that humans form groups and fight with each other, calling out words like (GOD apparently keeps hearings these) Hindu, Muslim, Christian, Sikh, Jesus, Vishnu, Allah, Koran, Bible…and then a lot of them fall dead before the fight is over… GOD didn’t even finish saying the word ‘bombs’…just shruddered!

GOD said “It’s unbelievable…preposterous! I know you are too young to answer my queries, Priya (yes, we got intro-ed to each other and shook hands a while ago) but I really don’t understand what all these things are…why do people keep bowing and praying before human figures? Do they not think of me anymore? Have humans become more powerful than me? For the record, I keep hearing and seeing you use the word ‘GOD’…that’s why I chose to fall through this particular roof… and well, it’s about time I left…I hear another person saying “GOD”. You know, it’s easy to hear that—while everyone’s screaming Jesus, Allah and Vishnu, a one-in-a-million “GOD” is very audible”.

When we complain that our prayers are never answered…well, now you know why! When we say “How many poojas I did…what was the use?” well, now you know why! When you say “How many candles I lit…what was the use?” well, now you know why! When we despair that “All that namaz yielded nothing…” well, now you know why!

Poor GOD thinks we are all praying to some super-powerful human!!! We think GOD looks like us… But GOD doesn’t look like us…no similarities at all…GOD stares for hours together at an idol of Jesus or Vishnu (or the zillion other Hindu idols) or the view (even if imaginary) of Mecca, and GOD is absolutely clueless! All GOD knows is that GOD is never called on… The poor thing is even a bit in despair that we have all taken to human super-powers and are devoted to them!

Now we know…or do we? Will we ever know at all?

P.S.: And now I know why GOD didn’t react when I said “Oh God, what the hell?” (when GOD initially crashed in). I know why GOD didn’t correct me as “What a contradictory statement” or “Did you mean to say ‘Oh God, what the heaven?’ and all those smart remarks…’coz GOD does not even know what heaven or hell is!