just a tumbler of water

It isn’t often you feel like a potential murderer. Well, today seems to be one of those strangely different, out-of-the-ordinary days!

When I read murder stories, I always marvel (in the most negative way) at the ease with which people plan to and successfully murder someone; similarly with movies. But in those cases, there’s always the consolation that it’s not for real. The shock is when such reports come in the news! And I just sit around wondering “How can a person ‘kill’ someone!?” And for someone like me who refuses to kill even an ant, it’s the biggest mystery. So, when today, I was the one scheming and planning, the shock knew no boundaries!

It’s been sometime now, that I have been contemplating on a murder. And every passing day makes me more and more determined to commit this one. I know it takes one hell of a stone-heart to even think of something like this — but I’m sure I want to do it — yes, you read it right: I want to do it.

So, now you must be wondering why the hell I’m writing about in a public forum. I do not intent to murder and act like a saint. I am totally willing to accept the consequences. I’m doing this only because my object of ‘affection’ here does not deserve to live. If I allow it to, I’ll be responsible for the wreck of two other lives. The love that existed all along will be forgotten: slowly, but steadily. And a day will come when these two lives will be totally dispensable for the other. I cannot allow for that. Better that this one dies.

I opened a Google window and started typing “how to murder a” and immediately the following options popped up:

  • how to murder a man (it’s not a man I want to murder)
  • how to murder and get away with it (not my intention; you wouldn’t be reading this if it were!)
  • how to murder a millionaire (why’d anyone wanna kill a millionaire unless you are due to receive all he’s got!?)
  • how to murder a rich uncle (if he has no kids and loves you the most, fine; else, isn’t it more sensible to be his fav nephew/niece?)
  • how to murder a and not get caught (again, i repeat, not my intention!)

Well, the option I was looking for was clearly not available. I discussed with a few close friends
— and finally decidmurdered that it should be a death-by-water! After all, most people wish to have a sip of water before they die!

Now I know how easy it is to kill. All it takes is some amount of hatred, some amount of despair and a huge amount of determination and reckless disregard for all value — monetary, moral and emotional! In my case, I’ll need just one more thing: a tumbler of water.

Once I’m done, and this post is crawled over by the search engine, Google will add one more item to its current list of “how to murder a”. It’ll have an option for “how to murder a television”!

how gross can you get?


I can’t believe someone can be this gross! Even hardcore porn could be considered more decent!! Ewww ewww eeeeewwwww! What joy could (s)he possibly get!?

Ok ! Here’s wat I’m “Eeewww“-ing about:
I came across this blog. Actually came across an angry custom message my friend had had on his g-chat about this particular blog! Curiosity never helped anyone — but well, I was in too much of a hurry to know what he was hinting at, to actually think about proverbs!

I went. I saw. And I almost puked! 😡

Like him, I also cannot believe how Google could allow something like this to continue being live!

And when I realised it was conceptualised, created, owned and maintained by a Malayali, I felt even more eeeeewwwwwwish! I hope the world doesn’t judge all mallus through this! Is there someway we could all boycott this YuckWdblog?? I don’t even want to link in there through mine and pollute myself!

For the overly curious ones out here, here’s the address: ass(hyphen)tricks(dot)blogspot(dot)com.

Don’t curse me after stepping “in” there; I’m warning you…all you actually want to do is do something to boycott it; I’m sure you don’t wanna see what there is on display!

After my previous post, when happiness was happening in full swing, I’d come back to blog about a “happy life” when I stumbled up on this gruesome blog. I lost my spirit and had abstained myself from blogging for a few days! But then I figured out that blogging about it would probably bring results! Hopefully!

Once again, before i sign off… EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWW ! ! !