Nightmares for rent

“Where will I keep the garbage? Will someone come to collect it?”
*no…we usually used to eat it the next day*

“Can I move the furniture around?”
*dude, you decide. Stop calling me for every simple thing*

“Who hung all these pictures here?”
*they got bored and hung themselves*

“Whose picture is that?”
*go figure instead of wasting my time*

“The stars in that room scared me. Who stuck them here?”
*thank god you’ve never looked up at the sky!*

“There’s a weird sound every night. What’s that?”
*probably the neighbours’ reaction when they saw you*

“What have you told the tenants upstairs about me?”
*the truth…which explains the weird night sound*

“What will I tell them if they ask me how I know you?”
*there isn’t much, is there? :P*

“Blah blah blah…”
*tearing my hair out*

“You know what? I don’t have Gtalk or Gmail at office :(”
*overjoyed at the prospect of limited bugging*

“I took a phone connection with 400 free messages and low-rate calls.”
*tearing the remaining hair out and thinking ‘why oh why did I do this!?:roll:*

“Blah blah blah…”
*keeps telling him my parents are the house owners, not me, but he doesn’t seem to hear*

.
When you know a crazed man, you generally stay away. You try and be polite (though you snub him every chance you get), but you generally keep away, keeping your family also away from him. You try to limit your connection with him to a few words over a chat or across a blog.

But at times, your sense of judgment fails you, and you break those rules, become friends, introduce him to your family… and WORST of all, rent out your house to him! 😮 That too, a good house in a good locality. And what’s more!? It’s fully furnished, fully furnished, fully furnished (there you go: three times over :P) too!

Damn! Now, before long, the house would be virtually invisible. All that passers-by would be able to see would be a huge blob of cobwebs 🙂 Serves you right, Priya, for renting out your house to that wannabe, pseudo-spiderman whom you’re always at war with.
😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀

Oh…  Hi Vimmuuu… hows life? It’s always a pleasure talking to you!

recession and youngsters!

Everyone’s talking of recession. Be it jobs, pay checks, a much-wanted vacation, a shopping extravaganza, a beauty therapy, a movie in a multiplex, an evening in the mall, a new pair of kurtas, a much-awaited tatoo…everything gets ‘verbally’ delayed or postponed “in this time of recession”. Apparently, even the blind man’s cut down on the choice between the blue pill and the red pill (see Comment #19) 😀 !

But how true is this??? A few excerpts from real-life experiences!

You: What a surprise! How come you are in a bus??
Friend: Recession, re! No money. Wallet’s almost empty.
You (nodding in agreement): Yea…I know. So, where you off to?
Friend: Am meeting an old ‘friend’ (winks) in CCD at 5. Haven’t seen each other in a long time. So, thought could catch up over a coffee.
You: Uh…uh. (Cafe Cofee Day’s the only place for a coffee??)

You: You sure you wanna come in my car? I thought you hated car-pooling. Friend (sheepish smile): I do. But well…one has to change with the times. When the wallet’s empty, that’s when saving becomes important! 😀
You: Hop in! Where can I drop you?
Friend: At the mall. Have some shopping…and am catching a movie with my girl! (beams)
You: Uh…uh. (Mall and multiplex??)

You: Dude, can you lend me 5k? I’ll return it in 15 days.
Dude: Jeez, no! I just bought a car.
You: What? In this time of recession?
Dude: Yea! Dad wanted me to buy a house. But what good’ll that do now,when I’m staying with them? A car’s what I need now. Helps us friends hang around and go places together. Anyway, it’s an investment. So, rather invest in somethings that’s most useful now!
You: Uh…uh. (Investment?? Car over a House? Really?)

You: Hey buddy! How’s it going?
Friend: Not too good. Mom called up yesterday too. She’s vexed that I’m not sending home any money! What does she know about recession!
You: Hmmm… but maybe you could…
Friend (cutting you short): Hey! Check out my new hairstyle! I coloured it too! Spent a fortune on it at L’oreal! Phew!
You (gaping): But you just said…well, never mind! (After a pause) Oh, it’s stunning!

recession1Has Recession hit only the Management, that hard? Because even though lay offs and salary cuts are happening, Coffee Days and Baristas and Pizza Huts and Malls and Multiplexes and Branded Outlets and Fancy Restaurants and Boutiques and Professional Salons and are all always full of people!

And more interestingly, they are always full of young people! Is there something that makes these Hargrave-types so confident of a brighter  (financial and economic) tomorrow?

So, how many of you are saving? And how? Would love to get some tips…because I seem to be one of those indifferent ‘youngsters” (though I have no confidence in a financially better tomorrow; this is just how I am). 😀

A post a day keeps the block away…

…but if the block lasts too long, better throw the blog block away! 😀

I have forgotten to write; people think I’ve died; and Google and Technocrati doesn’t throw up show my ‘alphabets’ any longer.

Disgusting state of affairs. Really.

All these days, I convinced myself that I’m overworked and can’t really spare anytime for blogging. I was just fooling myself, I guess. I realise that every blogger who’s consistent and active, is not sitting at home full time 😉

But well. Never having even washed a plate at home, managing a whole house by myself (even with a hell lotta help from Suraj) is definitely stressing me out. I kept telling myself that it’s a phase in life, which’ll pass.

backpainWhat almost passed away was ME! 😀 I have been sick in bed for 2 weeks now — with a broken back! Thank God, my job profile allows me to work from home — else, we’d have ended up financially broke as well.Anyway, in this 2-week running is when I realised that even though I’d been sitting at home, I haven’t been blogging. Disgusting, really!

So well, bad back or block, I decided that blogging shouldn’t be affected. Am sure all the bloggers who used to read me have forgotten my existence by now.

Hope to hang in here for more than a week at a stretch. Then I’m sure I’ll come back to blogging full-time!

In the meantime, I hope to be alive in this crazy city (for me to be blogging everyday!). I pray that random people don’t burst into my house and stab me to death (if they try looting me, they’ll probably stab me 10 more times; Attention, thieves: there’s no money/gold here!); I pray that we don’t get waylaid on empty roads and robbed of our bike (which is almost falling apart now); I pray that Hindu activists who protest against everything ‘non-hindu’ don’t protest against my existence; I pray that those find-whatever-excuse-you-can-to-beat-up-people types don’t catch me in a jeans and beat me up; I pray that I’ll be fortunate to leave Bangalore soon, while life and sanity are still there in me 😉

The only good that’s come out of the-latest-violence-in-Bangalore is that I don’t lose my arguments anymore. Every argument that I usually have with Suraj always ends up in some consensus or the other. The only one that never does — which is better: Bangalore or Bombay? He’s always for the former; me, the latter. And the last point always was “Bombay’s too dangerous.” Now that topic is dormant. Period.

P.S.: My blog crossed 10,000 hits! I’m surprised, happy, ecstatic! Thanks a lot, all you people, for making that happen! Since I hadn’t been active, I’m sure a lot of optimistic people kept visiting, hoping I’d write something 😀 . Sorry for having let you down; hope never to do that again 😉

P.S. of P.S.: Thanks a ton, Harsh and Sahaja, for considering me worthy of the “Cute’s Blogger Award” and “Lovely Blogger Award”. It meant a lot! Thanks again!

back to work…

…but feels more like I’m back in school! 😀

Strangely, I had been a school-goer (wonder what my parents were thinking!)…and I vividly remember trudging back to school every June 1 — when the monsoon sets in, full force, in God’s Own Country. Wet uniforms and wet socks, which causes incessant chills and itch-under-the-feet respectively, was never an issue for the teachers and parents. Students were expected in class everyday! Bah!

The situation is more or less similar now as well. After a break of 157 days from work (!!!), I joined back this monday — tornadoand I feel like I used to on those June 1sts, long back 😉 .There’s no time for anything. Time seems to fly — and in Concordes, that too 😉 Before I know, it’s morning and I’m struggling to wake up. Before I’m ready to be awake, I’m already in the bus. Before I’m settling into my seat, I’ve reached office. Before I even take in the jobs for the day, it’s time to catch the last bus home. Before I’m properly seated and letting out a tired sigh, I’m stepping into the kitchen. Before I finish chewing the first tid-bit, it’s time to sleep…and before my eyelash-neighbours kiss each other goodnight, it’s time to wake up!

And being married doesn’t help at all. Hehe…I can’t be lazy anymore. Can’t over-sleep. Can’t quit breakfast anymore. Can’t quit dinner anymore. In fact, there’s no point in doing all that — because I have to prepare food, no matter what I  choose to do.

Either I shift this house (it’s a really nice one!) somewhere close to Race Course Road; else, I get my boss to shift office to J.P. Nagar (highly unlikely 😀 ). Living 13 kms (read as 1.30 hours one-way travel) away from your workplace is not the most intelligent thing to do in Bangalore. Sigh!

All this translates into ‘no time for blogging’! That’s what I’m hating the most about this entire arrangement! And once you take a break from blogging, it’s damn tough to come back (as I’ve proved more than once already! 😀 ). And New Year Resolutions are just not meant to be!!! Like any other genius, I also took one — to blog everyday. So far, I’ve hopelessly failed in that!

From what I see, the year has started on the wrong note…or was it me? Ummmm…now let me re-cap — which side of the bed did I wake up on Jan 1? The foot-side, I guess! See… I’m not even making any sense here in this post! First post of 2009. And this is, so far, my worst post ever! I pity all you readers for the rest of the year. But swalpa adjust maadi; keep visiting, keep reading! 😀

Happy New Year again, folks!


P.S.: All you people who are single, remain so forever! Enjoy life. 😉 😀

if they had a life…

D

am as bored and lazy as this bored and lazy doggie here 😀

I’m so lazy these days, I’m wondering if I’ll ever ever be able to ‘work’ again….I think my career has gone for a six already 😀 😀 😀 (I’m due back in office in a couple of months’ time…but I’m not sure any more that’ll be an intelligent thing for my boss to do! 😛 )

Boredom and laziness can always work towards giving you weird ideas and crappy imagination. And it’s wonders had started working one me. Anyway, I was so out-of-mood and bored that I began telling myself “Have a life, Priya! Go out with friends, shop, read something, do some work…don’t just sit there like a lifeless chair (now, since when have there been chairs with life?)“, when I started wondering what all other lifeless stuff would do if they ‘had their lives’ 😀 😀 😀

Well, in my limited imagination and perspective, the hitherto ‘lifeless’ stuff around me would probably behave in the following ways: (I am sure they won’t approve of my perspective and will have better things to do. My bed would probably prefer walking around the house aimlessly and plopping on me every once in a while 😀 )

Yea, to begin with, the bed! I’m sure it’d love to turn upside down and lie on me with all its weight if it had a choice. I’m sure the cot would be extremely touchy, walk over to the nearby shop for ‘Super Glue’ and stick itself to the floor! 😐

The table in my room would probably put up a board “Do not litter me, use the waste bin instead!”, and the waste bin would feel bored and neglected (unless the table and the bin gets into a deal!) Am sure I give them enough opportunity for a decent barter system. 😀

My cupboard would sue me for choking it (even in its present lifeless state, it throws up throws out every single clothing of mine every time I yank the doors open. The cupboard doors, am sure, will have high blood pressure (holding the weight of all my clothes when its closed 😀 )

The bathroom would be the only happy ‘person’, I guess. I’m a pretty good singer and am always in full-throated musical extravaganza every time I enter in there (even now, it supports me with a lot of echo 😀 )…and well, not to mention the opportunity of seeing me naked, countless no. of times 😀 😀 😀 . But the washbasin would be a perpetual pneumonia patient (and suffer from high degrees of humiliation 😀 ). I refrain myself from thinking aloud of the EC’s (european closet) feelings! 😀 😀 😛

My toothbrush will probably think I’m a skunk of sorts 😀 . My comb would die of overwork. My handbag would probably wish it were born as a waste bin and do the same job it does now, but with dignity!

The PC would constantly swear at me in digital languages (!!) and sent out sparks (its way of kicking, since it has no legs 😀 ) The mouse, am sure, will wish there was a cat around and could attain salvation! Combined, the whole system would curse me for leaving the stinking deadbody of my UPS unburied for such a long time (read as years) 😀

My phone…ah! Its reactions and feelings, I got no clue about. For all the injustice I do to it (frequently dropping it; spraying it with water; almost-killing-it-by-leaving-it-chargeless for too long; leaving it around, making it scream for me endlessly when someone calls; and sitting on it now and then), I’m sure my phone will send out SMSs that say “save me from this moron(ess)” to my friends’ phones !

The TV would probably feel giddy at all times from too much channel switching…and would lose its mental stability (making it two maniacs in one house 😀 ).

My house will move out of town! 😀

…am not even getting to what these ‘lifeless stuffs’ would do in vengeance 😀 😀 If you ask me, I’m sure my bed would love to bulge its belly and burp out loud, throwing me off it! And the cot would probably grab me by my leg and swing me this way and that! The dirtiest (pun intended) vengeance would be of the EC :D:D . I shudder to think of it! 😀 😀 😛

Now, what do you think stuff in your house/office would do to you?