I can never thank you enough for being you…

On June 3, I read this on Pepper’s blog and I could not stop myself from commenting. When I used to be an “active blogger,” I followed a lot of bloggers — all of whom I still do; only, I’ve stopped commenting on their blogs — because I sometimes read posts in bits and pieces and most times, I cannot comment because of lack of time or connectivity or some such. And, I definitely do not want to be accused of commenting only some blogs and not all 😉 😉 😉 So, I generally lurk, read and slip away. Pepper’s post about the heat/humidity and the AC and her mom — I don’t know why it tugged at some corner of my heart, but it did. I commented and told her to give her mom a tight hug from me and tell her I would worship her 🙂

I don’t know why it touched me so much. Could be because my mom was here…and I was having an awesome “mommy time” with her 🙂 Just the two of us — for the first time. I don’t remember ever having spent such days together — just her and me. The brother or father was always there 🙂

Well, she’d been worried sick about me since the time I moved house 😀 Every time I got on the phone with her, she would tell me that she was always busy till about 11.30 every night — and by then she’d know I’d be fast asleep…and that each night, after 11.30, she would sit and think of me living alone and worry about me for half an hour 😀 I thought that was funny; she did not think so.  So, she’d taken a vacation and come to spend 10 days with me.

When she came, she was recovering from a fever and wasn’t in the best of her spirits. And I was a little worried — because she seemed to have aged drastically, in the past 4 months that I had not seen her. And she was walking really slowly — which reminded me of my grandmom 😦 She looked at least 10 years older, and I told her that. Worried, close to being alarmed, I told her she needs to rest more, eat healthy and take good care of self. She kept telling me it was the fever hangover. Two days, I remained worried. She was not her usual self. I was glad I’d decided to take two full days off from work. Normally, when she is in the house, no matter which house it is, she takes over kitchen 🙂 This time, I did not let that happen. I cooked, made her tea now and then, told her stories, had serious discussions, shared fun stories , and generally gave her rest.

The third day, on a Saturday, she recovered fully. The first thing she did was to walk quickly up and down my living room some 5 times to show me she is not old 😀 😀

And then we had a great time for the rest of her visit. Well, we did not budge from the house 😀 She did not want to go anywhere. So I joined back at work on Tuesday, and remained busy till 8 p.m. all those days. Thankfully, the work days were not as crazy as they normally are. So, we had pointless fun discussions, poignant serious ones and had much fun.

I taught her easy-to-make “rice items” — jeera rice, tomato rice, puliyodharai, lemon rice, etc — and she experimented with one each for each meal. Thrilled at how easy each was to make, she took copious notes of each one’s recipe and preparation methods. And then she called up my dad who’s been making his own meals — and for lil’ Bruce and my brother. I watched as she animatedly explained to dad how these were all easy-to-make but tasty recipes 😀 Well, if I never knew it till now, now I know where I get my “animated persona” from 😛  I also realised where I’d inherited the palm-on-cheek “ouch” pose from 😛

I had grand plans of taking her for a drive and showing off my new-found skills 😉 But none of that happened. Since, I did not want her freaking out much, I had thought it’d be best to take her for a drive after the traffic died slightly. Which would only be after 9.30 where I live. Only,  the rain gods had their own plans. It rained torrentially all those evenings 🙂

While Pumbaa and I jumped around in joy at the torrential thunderstorms, Mom sat and comforted the scared Khloe. While I WhatsApp-ed and checked mail and chatted with folks on phone, she went about silently, dusting every nook and corner of the house. On work days, while I spent most of my time staring at my laptop, Mom cooked me yummy meals and put the house in order. While I was on calls, she peeled and sliced my favourite mangoes and “delivered” it in bowls right next to my laptop so I did not have to budge. While I stepped out one evening to meet a friend for a while, she sat in the balcony looking out for me.  While I played around with Pumbaa and Khloe, she folded all my clothes.

Needless to say, I did not notice any of these things till she was all packed and ready to leave. On the day of her return, with only 2 minutes to leave the house, she realised she hadn’t folded my clothes from the previous day’s laundry and looked at me with a most devastated expression, saying “Aiyooooo! Molde thuniyonnnum madakkeela! Sorry!”, with her signature palm-on-cheek pose! I was stunned! I had never even expected it to be done. And that’s when I realised that the folded clothes I’d been dumping into my cupboard each day was not the work of a laundry angel, but my Mom’s doing. That’s when I noticed the second bedroom looking spic and span. That’s when I noticed all the dust gone from everywhere. That’s when I noticed that my bed was made. That’s when I noticed that the past few days had been SO FULL OF LIFE.

At her apology for not folding my clothes, I told her she is a “chakkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkara, sooo cute you are!” and her eyes shone happily — and I was glad to see that she definitely did not look even a year older, forget 10 🙂

Today morning, I still could remember vividly her expression when she said sorry for not folding my clothes. And for the first time in my life, I thought to myself, “I guess one needs to be a mother to be able to be like that…” Well, I don’t think I have it in me to be anything like mine! In fact, I have already reseerved truckloads of sympathy for my “someday” children 😀

It’s just been a day since she left — and it feels like forever. I miss her sooooo bad, I wish she either did not come, or I’d gone with her back to Trivandrum! And I sooooo envy my brother for being able to live in the same house as she, even now 😐 I think I must crib about being “lonely” now onward, so she’d come over more often 😉  And the next time she comes, I should get my dad and Bruce to come too — so she would not be in any hurry to return 🙂

Amma, I love you so much, and I can never thank you enough for being you — so awesome! 🙂

Child Development, Nutrition and Inter-personal Relationships :)

The officer at the Driving License counter asked the lady “What is your occupation?” The woman seeking renewal of her license seemed to be puzzled. So the officer said “Ma’am, are you employed, have your own business or…….. The woman replied “Oh, yes!! I have a full time occupation. I am a mother.”

Officer: “We don’t have ‘mother’ as an option for occupation. I will write it down as ‘Housewife’. That takes care of all questions.”

This had happened long ago, and was forgotten. Years later when I went to get my license, the Public Relations Officer was a somewhat pompous woman. “Your occupation?” she asked in a rather authoritative tone.

I just had an inspiration and replied “I am a researcher in the field of Child Development, Nutrition and Inter-personal Relationships.” The lady officer stared at me in amazement. I calmly repeated my statement and she wrote it down verbatim. Then, unable to conceal her curiosity, she politely asked “What exactly do you do in your profession, Ma’am?”

I was feeling good about having described my occupation so calmly and confidently. So I replied “My research projects have been going on for a number of years (mothers never retire!!). My research is conducted in the laboratory as well as in the field. I have two bosses. (One is God and the other is my entire family). I have received two honours in this field (a son and a daughter). My topic is considered to be the most difficult part of sociology (all moms will agree!!). I have to work more than 14 hours every day. Sometimes even 24 hours are not enough and the challenges are tougher than many other professions. My compensation is in terms of mental satisfaction rather than money.”

I could see that the officer was thoroughly impressed. After completing the licensing formalities, she came to the door to see me off. This new viewpoint about my occupation made me feel much better on my way back home. I was welcomed by my 5 year old research assistant at the door. My new project (my 6 month old baby) was energetically practicing her ‘music’.

I had earned a small victory over the Governmental red tape today. I was no longer ‘merely a mother’, instead I was now a highly placed functionary in a service vital for mankind – Motherhood!!

‘Mother’ – Isn’t it a great title?

P.S.: Thanks for this forward, UmaS 🙂 I felt this was too fabulous to not share! Please, share this as much as you can, as widely as you can. No one will book you for plagiarism 😉

And to the “mother” who said all this: you are fabulous!