The Queen of Subtlety

Subtlety, if you ask me, is not an art possessed and practiced by many. Some think they have it, but don’t. Some actually have it, but never put it into action at the right moment. And well, some others have it, and practice it quite well.

And then there’s Princess (you need to spend 5 continuous minutes with her to know why exactly she is Princess) who does not know that subtlety exists. Which makes her nothing less than The Queen of Subtlety.

Incident #1 why Princess got titled The Queen of Subtlety
Princess and her two friends (which includes me) were on a break; sipping tea at the pantry. There was no one else in the pantry. If the three of us weren’t talking, there would be no other sound there. We were discussing random life issues, friends, relatives and other such. For once, there was ABSOLUTELY no gossip about colleagues happening right then. After a few minutes, our manager’s ex-manager (who still likes to act the part of our manager’s manager) walked in to fill her tea cup. There was a moment of silence right then, as we had just finished a random conversation. For no reason in particular, on seeing the lady that walked in, Princess said “Shhh” at us (but alas, loudly enough for all of the pantry to hear). We were not talking about her, but I’m sure after the “Shhh”, she thought we were. Sigh! 🙄

Incident #2 why Princess got titled The Queen of Subtlety
Princess and I were at our workstations, quietly going about our lives work. And then, Princess rolled her chair towards me and we began discussing something — I’m not sure if it was work or something else. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw our manager’s manager walk into our bay, and launch into a conversation with our manager. I whispered to Princess to check them both out, that they’re colour coded (they were both in red shirts). That’s ALL I said. Princess turned around, looked, and burst out laughing. And then she turned back to me, saw my horrified expression and went “Ooops” and eerily quiet. I dread to even think what he might have thought! Sigh! 🙄

Incident #3 why Princess got titled The Queen of Subtlety
Princess and I work on the 7th Floor of our office building. We have a friend on the Ground Floor. Once, after collecting a courier that Princess received (a reasonably sized box which looked suspicious even to me!), we decided to walk over to our friend and have a chat. As we walked in, I told Princess that we’ll tell our friend we’re here to have a serious meeting with her and her manager, and that Princess was to hide the courier from the friend’s view. We walked to her seat, and found her seat vacant; she was in a meeting room with her team. As we were contemplating whether to stay or leave, the meeting room door opened and the friend’s teammate walked out. Instead of being a normal human being and just staying calm, Princess did something very close to acrobatics and tried to hide the courier box from the girl’s sight (don’t ask me why!!). Of course, quite unsuccessfully at that. We got a look of weird displeasure from that girl. Sigh! 🙄

Incident #4 why Princess got titled The Queen of Subtlety
Princess and I were walking to the pantry, for a cup of tea. Just as we got out of the bay, we saw two foreigners standing by the door, having a serious discussion. I walked on in silence. But not the Princess, oh no! She took one look at the two (fairly older) gentlemen and said “Oooh! Nice.” With smoke coming out of my ears, I hastened my pace, looked at her horrified and asked her what the hell that was! And she explains, “But I meant one of their bags; not them!” Yes, very evident that was. Sigh! 🙄

As The Queen of Subtlety continues to rule, the rest of us are sure that we’ll have many more foot-in-mouth moments, handed over in a golden plate, even without having to say a word! Secretly, I think I need to make new friends.

A post a day keeps the block away…

…but if the block lasts too long, better throw the blog block away! 😀

I have forgotten to write; people think I’ve died; and Google and Technocrati doesn’t throw up show my ‘alphabets’ any longer.

Disgusting state of affairs. Really.

All these days, I convinced myself that I’m overworked and can’t really spare anytime for blogging. I was just fooling myself, I guess. I realise that every blogger who’s consistent and active, is not sitting at home full time 😉

But well. Never having even washed a plate at home, managing a whole house by myself (even with a hell lotta help from Suraj) is definitely stressing me out. I kept telling myself that it’s a phase in life, which’ll pass.

What almost passed away was ME! 😀 I have been sick in bed for 2 weeks now — with a broken back! Thank God, my job profile allows me to work from home — else, we’d have ended up financially broke as well.Anyway, in this 2-week running is when I realised that even though I’d been sitting at home, I haven’t been blogging. Disgusting, really!

So well, bad back or block, I decided that blogging shouldn’t be affected. Am sure all the bloggers who used to read me have forgotten my existence by now.

Hope to hang in here for more than a week at a stretch. Then I’m sure I’ll come back to blogging full-time!

In the meantime, I hope to be alive in this crazy city (for me to be blogging everyday!). I pray that random people don’t burst into my house and stab me to death (if they try looting me, they’ll probably stab me 10 more times; Attention, thieves: there’s no money/gold here!); I pray that we don’t get waylaid on empty roads and robbed of our bike (which is almost falling apart now); I pray that Hindu activists who protest against everything ‘non-hindu’ don’t protest against my existence; I pray that those find-whatever-excuse-you-can-to-beat-up-people types don’t catch me in a jeans and beat me up; I pray that I’ll be fortunate to leave Bangalore soon, while life and sanity are still there in me 😉

The only good that’s come out of the-latest-violence-in-Bangalore is that I don’t lose my arguments anymore. Every argument that I usually have with Suraj always ends up in some consensus or the other. The only one that never does — which is better: Bangalore or Bombay? He’s always for the former; me, the latter. And the last point always was “Bombay’s too dangerous.” Now that topic is dormant. Period.

P.S.: My blog crossed 10,000 hits! I’m surprised, happy, ecstatic! Thanks a lot, all you people, for making that happen! Since I hadn’t been active, I’m sure a lot of optimistic people kept visiting, hoping I’d write something 😀 . Sorry for having let you down; hope never to do that again 😉

P.S. of P.S.: Thanks a ton, Harsh and Sahaja, for considering me worthy of the “Cute’s Blogger Award” and “Lovely Blogger Award”. It meant a lot! Thanks again!

two-thousand-eight to nine…

So far, the year’s been baaad! I stepped into the new year within the grips of a flu; then I re-joinedoffice and have made my life a living hell; I find myself in the presence of someone that petrifies me all day long (I do NOT mean my husband :D); have breakfast-less mornings; I get almost no time to blog — and am losing out on the blogging spirit 😦 ; Makara Sankranthi turned out to be Maaraka (dangerous) Sankranthi — the special Karnataka lunch left me food-poisoned; but worst of all, I saw Chandni Chowk to China (CCTC)! Sigh! 😦

I hope the script here says "Don't watch Chandi Chowk To China"

I thought I was done falling prey to un-sahikkable Bollywood flicks with the death of 2008 — when I sat through 3 hours of torture, a.k.a. Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi. But apparently not! CCTC is living proof for the fact that Warner Bros can also go wrong. The film has once of the loosest script, irrelevant links of characters to one another; comic strips and dialogues that wouldn’t bring a laugh out of people even at gun-point (well, there were some funny one-liners, but countable within 5 fingers)… I just cannot believe Warner Bros agreed to making this movie! Apparently, they are afraid that it may fall prey to piracy. Have mercy!

There were a few scenes which made people sitting around me comment “This scene was not really necessary.” All I had to say to that (though I kept it to myself) was that “the entire film was not necessary.”

Well, now I know how the year is going to take it’s toll on me! God save me!

P.S.: Anyone who still wants to go watch it, please convince yourselves it’s going to be the worst ever film you ever saw. You just might not mind it too much, then! 😀 Do this, and you’ll be greatful to me! 😉

back to work…

…but feels more like I’m back in school! 😀

Strangely, I had been a school-goer (wonder what my parents were thinking!)…and I vividly remember trudging back to school every June 1 — when the monsoon sets in, full force, in God’s Own Country. Wet uniforms and wet socks, which causes incessant chills and itch-under-the-feet respectively, was never an issue for the teachers and parents. Students were expected in class everyday! Bah!

The situation is more or less similar now as well. After a break of 157 days from work (!!!), I joined back this monday — and I feel like I used to on those June 1sts, long back 😉 .There’s no time for anything. Time seems to fly — and in Concordes, that too 😉 Before I know, it’s morning and I’m struggling to wake up. Before I’m ready to be awake, I’m already in the bus. Before I’m settling into my seat, I’ve reached office. Before I even take in the jobs for the day, it’s time to catch the last bus home. Before I’m properly seated and letting out a tired sigh, I’m stepping into the kitchen. Before I finish chewing the first tid-bit, it’s time to sleep…and before my eyelash-neighbours kiss each other goodnight, it’s time to wake up!

And being married doesn’t help at all. Hehe…I can’t be lazy anymore. Can’t over-sleep. Can’t quit breakfast anymore. Can’t quit dinner anymore. In fact, there’s no point in doing all that — because I have to prepare food, no matter what I  choose to do.

Either I shift this house (it’s a really nice one!) somewhere close to Race Course Road; else, I get my boss to shift office to J.P. Nagar (highly unlikely 😀 ). Living 13 kms (read as 1.30 hours one-way travel) away from your workplace is not the most intelligent thing to do in Bangalore. Sigh!

All this translates into ‘no time for blogging’! That’s what I’m hating the most about this entire arrangement! And once you take a break from blogging, it’s damn tough to come back (as I’ve proved more than once already! 😀 ). And New Year Resolutions are just not meant to be!!! Like any other genius, I also took one — to blog everyday. So far, I’ve hopelessly failed in that!

From what I see, the year has started on the wrong note…or was it me? Ummmm…now let me re-cap — which side of the bed did I wake up on Jan 1? The foot-side, I guess! See… I’m not even making any sense here in this post! First post of 2009. And this is, so far, my worst post ever! I pity all you readers for the rest of the year. But swalpa adjust maadi; keep visiting, keep reading! 😀

Happy New Year again, folks!

P.S.: All you people who are single, remain so forever! Enjoy life. 😉 😀

all-time buddy…broken-toe buddy!

Friendship…it’s a weird thing! And friends…they’re weird people! 😀

They come into your life when there is no space left. And then, there is no time left! Your life walks over, takes an entry ticket to the nearest circus grounds and gets a seat on the most violent roller-coaster 😀 It’s an amazing phenomenon…

They say “Everything in life will change…only friendship remains the same.” Well, though I don’t agree totally to that, I do think friends are some of the most dynamic things that happen to you! No one else can be with you and create total havoc in your life 😀 …

There have been many friends who’s come, stayed, left and come back again…but none has mattered more than Jaya. Well it’s not Friendship Week or Friendship day; its not her birthday. What prompted me to write this is a really funny thing that happened to Jaya! 😀

Its quite easy to say “He / She is my best friend. We have a lot in common.” But in our case, the ‘lot in common’ has always been a bit too literal! 😉

Oh, the fun we’ve had!

Of all that we have in common — attitude to life, interests (books, hobbies, bitching and guys), memory failures, i-live-to-get-into-trouble syndrome and what nots — the most striking has always been our voice! And the things we’ve done with it 😀

Hehe…everyone — from her parents to her boyfriend — always had (still have) trouble distinguishing her from me and vice versa. I once had the most embarassing conversation with her boyfriend 😀 Anyway, we have intentionally and unintentionally fooled many people and laughed our guts out!! Those stories are quite personal (and I’d be murdered if I publish them here 😀 ).

Well, coming back to the funny thing that happened to her… Yesterday, she broke her toe ! 😛 (No no, I’m not a sadist friend who is overjoyed at her toes woes 😀 )

Flash back 😀 : Two years ago, I went to the beach with a cousin and we were shooting sand at each other with our feet. At one point, my foot met his! He screamed at me for the little layer of skin I accidentally peeled off his leg — while, I wasnt even aware of my broken toe till I reached home 😀 I couldnt believe it! I’d broken my toe in the most stupid way one can break a toe 😀 . With that broken toe, I went off to Mumbai the next day with Jaya (for our project completion) and climbed every single available foot-over bridge at all most of Mumbai’s stations — across VT, Andheri, Juhu, Dombivali, Thane and Mahalakshmi 😀 …and then we went to Goa…with that same broken toe (you cant expect a toe to form bone, zap in 10 days)!!! And my dear freind teased me for being “the committed student”. (I looked at it as a chance to freak out in Mumbai and Goa with my best friend 😉 . Project? What project? Toe? Aah…slight pain there! 😀 )

Yesterday, Jaya had Thiruvaathira practice at her office. The girl by her side put her best foot forward — but

a thiruvaathirakkali in progress somewhere 😉

at a time when it was uncalled for — and Jaya broke her toe! 😀 😀 😀 Thiruvaathira is a dance form that gives no room for violence! It’s one of those slow moving, peaceful dances. C’mon! If she’d been practising break dance, I can understand 😀 😀 😉 Hehe…knowing Thiruvaathira steps, and having done it myself a few time, I’d say she broke her toe in the most stupid way one can break a toe 😀 😀 😀 (but not as stupidly as I managed). And the “committed employee” is in office even today. Took no leave, could not stay away from work (or is it the practise?) 😀 😀

Edi, njaan athum kond nadann odukkam 3 weeks-il heal aakumaayirunnathu took 3 months. Maryadaykk veetil irikkaan nokku 😀 . Get well soon, honey! Mwah! Love you loads, my broken-toe buddy ! 😀 😀

Image courtesy: http://www.indovacations.net

if they had a life…

am as bored and lazy as this bored and lazy doggie here 😀

I’m so lazy these days, I’m wondering if I’ll ever ever be able to ‘work’ again….I think my career has gone for a six already 😀 😀 😀 (I’m due back in office in a couple of months’ time…but I’m not sure any more that’ll be an intelligent thing for my boss to do! 😛 )

Boredom and laziness can always work towards giving you weird ideas and crappy imagination. And it’s wonders had started working one me. Anyway, I was so out-of-mood and bored that I began telling myself “Have a life, Priya! Go out with friends, shop, read something, do some work…don’t just sit there like a lifeless chair (now, since when have there been chairs with life?)“, when I started wondering what all other lifeless stuff would do if they ‘had their lives’ 😀 😀 😀

Well, in my limited imagination and perspective, the hitherto ‘lifeless’ stuff around me would probably behave in the following ways: (I am sure they won’t approve of my perspective and will have better things to do. My bed would probably prefer walking around the house aimlessly and plopping on me every once in a while 😀 )

Yea, to begin with, the bed! I’m sure it’d love to turn upside down and lie on me with all its weight if it had a choice. I’m sure the cot would be extremely touchy, walk over to the nearby shop for ‘Super Glue’ and stick itself to the floor! 😐

The table in my room would probably put up a board “Do not litter me, use the waste bin instead!”, and the waste bin would feel bored and neglected (unless the table and the bin gets into a deal!) Am sure I give them enough opportunity for a decent barter system. 😀

My cupboard would sue me for choking it (even in its present lifeless state, it throws up throws out every single clothing of mine every time I yank the doors open. The cupboard doors, am sure, will have high blood pressure (holding the weight of all my clothes when its closed 😀 )

The bathroom would be the only happy ‘person’, I guess. I’m a pretty good singer and am always in full-throated musical extravaganza every time I enter in there (even now, it supports me with a lot of echo 😀 )…and well, not to mention the opportunity of seeing me naked, countless no. of times 😀 😀 😀 . But the washbasin would be a perpetual pneumonia patient (and suffer from high degrees of humiliation 😀 ). I refrain myself from thinking aloud of the EC’s (european closet) feelings! 😀 😀 😛

My toothbrush will probably think I’m a skunk of sorts 😀 . My comb would die of overwork. My handbag would probably wish it were born as a waste bin and do the same job it does now, but with dignity!

The PC would constantly swear at me in digital languages (!!) and sent out sparks (its way of kicking, since it has no legs 😀 ) The mouse, am sure, will wish there was a cat around and could attain salvation! Combined, the whole system would curse me for leaving the stinking deadbody of my UPS unburied for such a long time (read as years) 😀

My phone…ah! Its reactions and feelings, I got no clue about. For all the injustice I do to it (frequently dropping it; spraying it with water; almost-killing-it-by-leaving-it-chargeless for too long; leaving it around, making it scream for me endlessly when someone calls; and sitting on it now and then), I’m sure my phone will send out SMSs that say “save me from this moron(ess)” to my friends’ phones !

The TV would probably feel giddy at all times from too much channel switching…and would lose its mental stability (making it two maniacs in one house 😀 ).

My house will move out of town! 😀

…am not even getting to what these ‘lifeless stuffs’ would do in vengeance 😀 😀 If you ask me, I’m sure my bed would love to bulge its belly and burp out loud, throwing me off it! And the cot would probably grab me by my leg and swing me this way and that! The dirtiest (pun intended) vengeance would be of the EC :D:D . I shudder to think of it! 😀 😀 😛

Now, what do you think stuff in your house/office would do to you?

i’m already missing it all…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yesterday was my last day at work…and well, everyone made it quite fond and memorable…

Mine could be termed ‘one of the best last day’ in Resource…hehehe…yea, probably they were all charged up to throw me out. But what they dont realise is that I liked it so much that, shameless that I am, i’ll definitely go back for more 😀   Well, its not even a matter of choice. I have to go back…like i’ve mentioned here.

I went to office yesterday wearing the same dress I’d worn on the day i first joined! Though the dress was red, i felt blue 😦 .

And then the pranks began!

I was sitting peacefully in my room, typing away goodbye mails to clients (esp the good-looking male ones 😀 ), senti mails to colleagues and a respectful one to the bosses–when a dozen CDs came flying into my room and landed all around me! For a minute, i thought it was some kinda alien attack…! (what with the bomb blasts and all that…one never knows 😀 . I heard footsteps running away…and from the tiny tremors, i knew it was Harish! 😀

The number of blank utalks that kept thundering onto my screen was screwing up my typing speed as well as the spellings in the mail!! When i begged them to stop, they started typing “dont gooooooooo” and sending 50 at a time again!!! And then it all hung!

And while i’m frantically trying to save the loooong mail (i never realise there is a ‘save’ option unless its always too late), another wise guy walked in and said ‘Excuse me”, pushed my chair (and me) off, calmly shut down my system and walked off! And then i heard laughter from the studio!

Then again comes along another guy and starts shooting thick, hard cardboard pieces at me using a rubber-band! He had the aim a guy who’d drowned a dozen shots of vodka would have! Thank God for that!

Sometime later, Rajeshwari came and slyly took my desk phone off the hook and started to leave! If i hadnt actually seen her do it, I’m sure someone would have said they’re trying to call me. I’d have freaked out to find the phone missing.

The last straw was when one among the bosses said “we’ll charge you for water after 5.30…we’re very strict with guests” 😀 😀 😀 I was very near tears!! Everyone in office was bonkers yesterday…hiding behind walls/doors and springing surprises at me with “Booo” and all that! Popping into my room every 5th minute to say “last day…”

Oh god, the amount of noise i made in that office yesterday is unpardonable by normal norms 😀 ! But i had to keep shouting and screaming “shut up”, “i’ll cry now”, “nonsense”, “madness is happening” and a lot more! Coz i wont get to do all for a looong time 😀 😀 😀

The party was yummmmmm….:D 😀 😀 and the speeches amazing…at the end of it all, i was speechless!! Clutched the bouquet close to me and slowly walked out the door…and in the distance, i could hear the song “All my bags are packed, i’m ready to go…” float around.

Its been hardly a day since i left…and I’m already bored…wanna go to office!!

all my bags are packed, i’m ready to go…

The perfect song for me now…

“Going home” is generally a very happy feeling…especially when you have super-lovely parents! And till about a week back, I was all excited and doing the countdown. But well, now that 31 July (that’s my last official working day) is just 4 days away, I’m already feeling the 😦 that has set in…

Resource Communications…i still remember the day I first heard about it from a friend in Bangalore. I was in Trivandrum then, on the lookout for a job. The website implored me to apply and make sure i get through. But when I actually send in my application and got called for a ‘copy test’ (I applied for copywriting), I was thrilled and anxious at the same time. After the test, I booked my return ticket–I decided that it was the worst test I ever attended (blame my lack of talent) and wouldn’t get through 😀 And so, when a call came for the third round of interviews, I had a better opinion about myself! 😀

How a whole year, and a month after that, passed…i cant imagine!

Today, Resource for me is a totally different experience…its all about a lot of passion, hardwork, dicussions–heated and otherwise–ideas, blastings, dressing downs, meetings, reviews, trips…and most importantly, a mix of totally different kinds of people with a lot of passion!

And perhaps, the only organisation where food plays a high and mighty role in each one’s lives 😀 😀 😀  There are daily meetings where we discuss what food is yummiest where…organise breakfast trips, lunch trips and dinner trips 😀 😀 😀 And being an integrated ‘Indian team’, we have had our share of North-Indian, Karnataka, Andhra and Maharashtrian lunches till date.

But nothing matched the excitement we all had on the day our MD made masala dosas for all of us!! Hehehehe…yes, you read it right…our’s is a small team…12 main people and 5 support staff…so, anything that’s done in office, is done collaboratively! Again, the most striking thing about the MD-cooked-lunch was the passion and integrity with which he did it !! Well I still owe everyone at office a Kerala lunch 😀

Will probably do it when I come back from Kerala in a few months’ time and join back in this same lovely company!!! Well, when bosses refuse to accept resination letters, what else to do? 😀 (I’m so glad he did that! 😉 ) It will be like “coming back home”…

Lunch and food are just  of the few things in a typical Resource-day…if you set out to find a better place than Resource, you’ll invariably land up in front of a green-gated cosy building called Resource 😉

Who dares, will be a moron :D

Guys, a friend is in deep trouble. He claims he is a moron, but finds it difficult to maintain moron-ness…so, here’s to fulfilling a friend’s duties 😀 . This is a looooong one, so if you dont have the time, pls do read it right now! 😀 😀 😀

Run one lap around the office at top speed.

Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and say,” Just called to say I can’t talk right now. Bye. ”

To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and grimace.

Leave your zipper open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say, “Sorry, I really prefer it this way. ”

Walk sideways to the photocopier.

While riding in an elevator, gasp dramatically every time the doors open.

OR…

Say to your boss, ” I like your style ” and shoot him with double-barreled fingers.

Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask, ” Did you get all that, I don’t want to have to repeat it. ”

Page yourself over the intercom (do not disguise your voice).

Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle (there must be a ‘non-player’ within sight).

Shout random numbers while someone is counting.

OR………

At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem (5 extra points if you actually launch into it yourself).

Walk into a very busy person’s office and while they watch you with growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times. (You can try this with Manju, Nikhil 😀 )

While an office mate is out, move their chair into the elevator.

In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and mutter, ” Shut up, all of you just shut up! ”

In a colleague’s DAY PLANNER, write in the 10 am slot: ” See how I look in tights. ” (5 extra points if it is a male, 5 more if he is your boss)

Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask, ” You wanna trade? ”

Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person: “Do you hear that?” ” What?” “Never mind, it’s gone now.”

Posing as a maitre d’, call a colleague and tell him he’s won a lunch for four at a local restaurant. Let him go.

Speak with an accent (French, German, Porky Pig, etc) during a very important conference call.

Hang a 2′ long piece of toilet roll from the back of your pants and act genuinely surprised when someone points it out.

During the course of a meeting, slowly edge your chair towards the door.

And if that wasn’t enough for you…

Tell your parents over dinner. ” Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go. ”

Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

Finish all your sentences with ” In accordance with the prophecy. ”

Dont use any punctuation…….or: Use, too…much; punctuation!

Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.

Five days in advance, tell your friends you can’t attend their party because you’re not in the mood.

When the money comes out of the ATM, cry ” I Won! I Won! 3rd time this week!!! ”

When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling, “Run for your lives, they’re loose!” (I plan to do this one, this Saturday at Bannerghatta 😀 )

And finally, this was a mail i received long back from a friend…hope it comes of use 😀 . These are not my ideas 😀 😀 😀