Three’s never a crowd!

After quite a long time (4 and a half months, for sure), I called up one of my closest friends — to know that she was 4 months pregnant!! So much for being “close friends”!!! 😛

And after the inital whats and whaats and whaaats, I let out one string of abuses her way for not letting me know. And with that ever cheeky that-don’t-impress-me-much tone, she tells me, “Oh! I thought I’ll just give you all a surprise!” Apparently, in all that excitement and tests and waiting-for-the-confirmation delays, she forgot to call us. Then she thought about it a month later…by then she was sure she’d get killed for not having told us friends. And then, she thought ‘what the heck, let the baby come out…and i’ll let them know”. The ass! Hehe…she was quite sure then, that we wouldn’t be meeting till the baby’s out 😛

I’ve been friends with this mad girl since my 9th grade…and it’s always been the ‘heights of fun’ when the two of us, along with the third musketeer, joined together! All 3 of us are “younger sister” to some super brothers…and while we both have 1, she has 3!! Which explains her escalated level of madness!

We’ve stayed cooped up in her smelly bedroom from morn till night, pretending to study…while all we ever did was read novels and eat and make endless phone calls and eat and sleep and eat and gossip and eat and…oh, you get the picture, right? We’ve walked from her house, all the way to mine (some good 8-9kms) in the scorching sun, chattering away on about everything. We’ve spent hours together discussing loves, crushes and heartbreaks.

We’ve travelled all over Trivandrum for no reason at all (as a result of talking animatedly and boarding any damn bus without looking at the name board!!)…in fact, once we sat right in front of the conductor’s seat in the bus and refused to take a ticket 😀 Just before getting off the bus, when the conductor asked us for the ticket, she actually told him “Oh, innu ticket edukkan oru moodilla” (Oh, we didn’t have the mood to get a ticket today!) 😛

We’ve bunked our classes to join a third class’ PT hour {two of us were in the same class n this mad one was in another; so, while the every class had just one PT hour a week, we had one everyday…almost ;)}and play in the hot sun (guess we were the only 3 girls the PT master didn’t hate :D)! We’ve always wanted to be in the same class (precisely why the teachers conspired and always made sure at least one among us was separated from the gang during class hours) that she’s hidden under our bench, only to be discovered and thrown out by the teacher!

Edited to add this after this memory suddenly came back: We’ve lurked around after school hours, waiting for all the teachers to leave, then gone behind the school building and tried to understand what’s the ‘cool’ factor about smoking 😉 After a puff each and volleys of coughing fits and teary eyes, we ran off into the girls’ loo when we heard our PT master demanding who the smoker was (he saw smoke, apparently!) A poor 7th grade boy got caught and interrogated [they did the spell smell-check on him, but he came off clean :D], but no one ever figured out!

We’ve bunked school to attend the “La Fest” (an inter-school fest conducted by Loyola School in Trivandrum, every year), in spite of being warned against it by our class teacher–and then disappointed her by bringing her leave letters signed by our parents that actually said “Was unable to attend class since I wanted to attend La Fest”, instead of a cooked up “fever” story 😀

Long story short, we’ve been the perfect ‘undisciplined gang of girls’ at school (and SO NOT proud about it now 😦 ) By the time we passed out of school, we ‘grew up’ and vowed we’ll become better people. All that took to make us better people was to get the 3 of us going in 3 different ways 😀

We still get back to being the ‘undisciplined gang of girls’ whenever we meet (though we pretend to be civilised). All of us were mad enough on the other’s wedding and instead of gifts, presented the ‘bridegroom’ with condolence messages (through the bride of course! who wants to give away the disaster that’s in store :D)!?

I can’t believe she’s going to be a mom! I can only pity the poor baby that’s on its way (am done pitying the husband by now 😉 ). Love you girl! Can’t wait to see you!

was it your birthday or mine?

Were they your dreams or mine?
Were they your wishes or mine?
Were they your smiles or mine?
Were they your hopes or mine?
Were they your moments or mine?

I wonder if you remember these words…they were on a birthday card you sent me all the way from Mumbai on my 16th birthday. Guess that was my first birthday following your departure to Mumbai (well, b4 that, I had had only one birthday after we became friends…but still). That was one card I really really loved… and I could only smile, thinking to myself “I wonder how we manage to find a card that says just what we both feel.” 😉

Years have passed since; dozens of cards, letters and phone calls have travelled to-and-fro…then we upgraded from “writing” to e-mailing. And then, just as suddenly as your dad got transferred to Mumbai, he was transferred back. But alas! you never came; instead, you called me over — and i gleefully agreed. We again set off on a train together…having decided to stay together, study together…and never separate again.

Years have passed. You’re married, I’m married. We’re living our separate lives. So much of our time’s taken away by life: that we seldom talk to, write to or think of one another. A chat yesterday, a call today, a mail tomorrow… That’s all that remains of our relation now. We had some of the best times of our lives: discussing crushes and loves and heartbreakes; exchanging books, movies and songs; terrorising a certain math teacher and walking out of her class; getting cursed by another and succeeding, in spite of everything; driving a few people mad and some others up trees…

Years have passed, situations have changed…our lives have turned on its own different wheels…but i guess the one thing that’s never changed over the past 12 years is our relationship…a certain feeling of ‘being there’, no matter the gaps in talks and memories.

I hope you have a sexy birthday, get drowned amidst gifts, happiness and love…and write a totally moving piece for (and about) me on my special day 😀 😀

HAPPY BIRTHDAY YOU CRAZY CRAZY CRAZY WOMAN!
They say time and tide waits for none; but girl, time always stands still for a woman of thirty! (Ooops, did I just say it out loud? :D)

I wonder what…

I wonder what it takes to convince someone to take care of their health (the loss, finally, is theirs, isn’t it?).

I wonder what it takes to make someone shed their negativity and shift to positive paths.

I wonder what it takes to make two people love each other (in spite of years of its absence).

I wonder what it takes to stop someone you love from being that one person you dread to have to live with.

I wonder what it means, to live your life for someone else forever, and never be valued for what you are.

I wonder what it takes to make people realise that God is in your minds, actions and thoughts; and not in how well you display and talk about it.

I wonder what it takes to convert a non-believer (and I don’t mean just the belief in God) to become a believer.

I wonder what it takes to make people look at the bigger picture than at the pixels!

I wonder what it takes to imbibe a sense of ‘togetherness’ in someone.

I wonder what it means to not be loved, but be expected to slave.

I wonder what it takes to make someone shed their ego and arrogance (even after suffering for it multiple times).

I wonder what it takes to make someone you love walk WITH you (and not lead, follow or tread).

I wonder what it takes to make someone accept everyone else as idividuals with their own lives.

I wonder what it means when you finally give up on someone:
     is that the end of real love?
     is it the beginning of disinterested acceptance?
     is it a sacrifice of your own interests as well?

I really do wonder…

just a tumbler of water

It isn’t often you feel like a potential murderer. Well, today seems to be one of those strangely different, out-of-the-ordinary days!

When I read murder stories, I always marvel (in the most negative way) at the ease with which people plan to and successfully murder someone; similarly with movies. But in those cases, there’s always the consolation that it’s not for real. The shock is when such reports come in the news! And I just sit around wondering “How can a person ‘kill’ someone!?” And for someone like me who refuses to kill even an ant, it’s the biggest mystery. So, when today, I was the one scheming and planning, the shock knew no boundaries!

It’s been sometime now, that I have been contemplating on a murder. And every passing day makes me more and more determined to commit this one. I know it takes one hell of a stone-heart to even think of something like this — but I’m sure I want to do it — yes, you read it right: I want to do it.

So, now you must be wondering why the hell I’m writing about in a public forum. I do not intent to murder and act like a saint. I am totally willing to accept the consequences. I’m doing this only because my object of ‘affection’ here does not deserve to live. If I allow it to, I’ll be responsible for the wreck of two other lives. The love that existed all along will be forgotten: slowly, but steadily. And a day will come when these two lives will be totally dispensable for the other. I cannot allow for that. Better that this one dies.

I opened a Google window and started typing “how to murder a” and immediately the following options popped up:

• how to murder a man (it’s not a man I want to murder)
• how to murder and get away with it (not my intention; you wouldn’t be reading this if it were!)
• how to murder a millionaire (why’d anyone wanna kill a millionaire unless you are due to receive all he’s got!?)
• how to murder a rich uncle (if he has no kids and loves you the most, fine; else, isn’t it more sensible to be his fav nephew/niece?)
• how to murder a and not get caught (again, i repeat, not my intention!)

Well, the option I was looking for was clearly not available. I discussed with a few close friends
— and finally decided that it should be a death-by-water! After all, most people wish to have a sip of water before they die!

Now I know how easy it is to kill. All it takes is some amount of hatred, some amount of despair and a huge amount of determination and reckless disregard for all value — monetary, moral and emotional! In my case, I’ll need just one more thing: a tumbler of water.

Once I’m done, and this post is crawled over by the search engine, Google will add one more item to its current list of “how to murder a”. It’ll have an option for “how to murder a television”!

“Light; it plays an incredible game of hide-and-seek with us.”

“Light; it plays an incredible game of hide-and-seek with us.
The earliest memory of my childhood happens to be a very happy one – sitting on my grandfather’s lap, listening to stories of our mythology, of demons and gods, of good and evil and walking down with him to the library to catch up on the adventures of Mickey Mouse.”

And as I first read these words sometime in the middle of a busy mid-2008 afternoon, I was awed! Awed by the author’s ability to play with words. Nikhil; he plays an incredible game with words!

When the story ended as abruptly as it had begun, after scrolling down just 4 or 5 pages, I was left in a confused state of mind. I was lost — I knew I just had to read the full story.  When I pestered him, he told me that was the full story; he’d written that to send in for some short-story-writing competition, he said.

Now, almost a year later, when I clicked that nice little “Download” button on his blog, all excited to be reading his new book, I saw myself reading those same words…and wondering where I had read them before. To have been able to read what led to and what followed those words was one of the best things to happen.

After I read it, I told him that “Simran” had left me all confused…and a bit torn apart. Confused, because such serious and mind-numbing words were from a guy whose posts are always a slapstick, humourous entertainer. Torn apart, because one could almost see and feel Nihal’s agony and loss.

“Simran” is a beautiful story that cajoles you lovingly to go forth and get yourself right in the midst of that fierce battle between emotions and logic; mind and heart. It’s the story of a passionately intense relation between the protagonist, Nihal, and the mysterious Simran. From life, love and passion, to hurt, anger, hate and death, Nihal travels through an entire spectrum of emotional turmoil — while Simran becomes the testimony for all that.

Definitely an ‘unputdownable’ work of art! And rightly so, because you live, love, get hurt and hate along with Nihal and Simran. When a reader empathises with a character, it’s undoubtedly the result of a  brilliant author’s incredible penmanship!

Well done, Nikhil! Look forward to the next one! 🙂

all it takes to lose…

Doesn’t matter how many years you’ve been friends for; doesn’t matter how many times you’ve stood by each other; doesn’t matter how many jokes you’ve shared; doesn’t matter how long you’ve been there for each other; doesn’t matter how many jokes you’ve shared; doesn’t matter how many pranks you’ve played; doesn’t matter how many, many times you’ve told each other “You’re my best buddy!”. All it takes to lose a friend is not to attend her wedding!

I learnt this the hard way. May none of you ever!

P.S.:

My apologies! You’re still my best friend! 😥

Tag me unromantic!

I’ve been having a terrible writer’s block for more than a week now. And in such situations, friends — disguised as ‘taggers’ — become a saviour. And, it was in such a time that this tag came my way. But Vimal, my saviour in disguise, I’m gonna kick you for tagging me this one! 😀 . Though this is quite an ‘interesting’ tag, I am not at all the one to do it! But well, of the two rules below, one says I have no escape!

RULE #1 People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs and replace any question that they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves.

RULE #2 Tag 6 people to do this quiz and they cannot refuse. These people must state who they were tagged by, cannot tag the person whom they were tagged by, and must continue this game by sending it to other people.

So here goes!

1. If your lover betrayed you, what will your reaction be?
   My definition of ‘betrayal’ is gravely different from the normal person’s. So, I tend to ignore this question (for fear of kicking up deadly debates in the blogville 😉 ).
2. If you can have a dream to come true, what would it be?
   My dream would come true the day someone creates my clone! 🙂
3. Whose butt would you like to kick?
   Vimal‘s 😀 !!!!!!!
4. What would you do with a billion dollars?
   Go off to Austria in a hot-air balloon!
5. Will you fall in love with your best friend?
   I would’ve, definitely, if I were a lesbian 😀 !
6. Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?
   Both are equally so! (Existence of one without the other is horrid.)
7. How long do you intend to wait for someone you really love?
   Till around 11:30 p.m. Then I’ll sleep off!
8. If the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do?
   Use some ‘de-attacher’, de-attach him and promptly attach him to me 😀
9. If you like to act with someone, who will it be? Your gf/bf or an actress/actor?
   Madhavan! Oh…I’d give anything to see him up close! (The guy I acted with once, became my bf later. I would love to see if the same would happen if I act with Madhavan! 😉 )
10. What takes you down the fastest?
    A lift — and if it’s one with no individuality, faster still.
11. How would you see yourself in ten years’ time?
    With my eyes, of course!
12. What’s your fear?
    I fear I’ll regret my decision.
13. What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?
    A handsome singer, a tee-totaller and a good friend 😉 (now waiting to get kicked too).
14. Would you rather be single and rich or married but poor?
    I’d much rather be married and still rich! 😛
15. What’s the first thing you do when you wake up?
    Sneeze!(I have some damn nasal problem.)
16. Would you give all in a relationship?
    Everything, but my individuality.
17. If you fall in love with two people simultaneously, who would you pick?
    The lighter one 😀 Ok…jokes apart, why the hell can’t I have both? Only one? In that case, the one with the better parents! 😀
18. Would you forgive and forget, no matter how horrible a thing that special someone has done?
    Yes! I am blessed with a bad memory. People can vouch for that!
19. If you get to go back in time and fall in love all over again, would it still be with the same person? (Original question: What are your three most important expectations in love?)
    Ummmmmmm…can the same person have different parents? No? Then, NO !
20. List 6 people to tag:
    Reema, Sakhi, Mahak, Xylene, Harish and Arvind