nursery rhymes we didn’t have as kids…

Heyyo there! I got a very mean mail looooong time back…about nursery rhymes we didn’t have as kids…ok…shall not explain anymore…read on…and let’s see how much meaner yu guys can get… Consider this a tag…similar tu RJ’s…only, here, no love poem…just meanies writing mean nursery rhymes 😀

Mary had a little pig,

She kept it fat and plastered;

And when the price of pork went up,

She shot the little bastard.

Mary had a little lamb
Her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her,
Between two slices of bread.

Jack and Jill went up the hill

To have a little fun.

Stupid Jill forgot the pill

And now they have a son.

Simple Simon met a Pie man going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the Pie man,
“What have you got there?”
Said the Pie man unto Simon,
“Pies, you Dumb Ass”

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the kings’ horses,
And all the kings’ men.
Had scrambled eggs,
For breakfast again.

Hey Diddle Diddle the cat took a piddle,
All over the bedside clock.
The little dog laughed to see such fun.
Then died of electric shock.

Georgie Porgy Pudding and Pie,

Kissed the girls and made them cry.

And when the boys came out to play,

He kissed them too ’cause he was gay.

By the way, folks, I’m a great lover of nursery rhymes…and am generally against anthing that degrades them…but like i said, am in naughty mode 😀 .