True friends are hard to come by!

It’s amazing how you can speak right to my heart… Oh, that’s a song.  Not how I meant to start this. 😀

But well, it’s amazing alright. How the best of people always have the best of friends 😉 Like how Calvin has Hobbes; Asterix has Obelix; Tintin has Snowy; the F.R.I.E.N.D.S. have each other; and well, Boban has Moli. 😀

I think the best of the lot is Calvin and Hobbes.

And if I be Calvin, I’ve found my Hobbes 😉 [Or vice-versa, if my ‘Hobbes’ doesn’t like being a tiger 😀 *But for now, you’ll have to make do with being Hobbes. The other option would be to make you Richard Parker, who coincidentally is again a tiger. I think Hobbes is much cuter, nicer and definitely more fun to be with*]

I’m very, very, VERY choosy when it comes to friends—especially the kind that can be ‘Hobbes’. And this one was, well, totally unexpected. Someone I definitely did not see myself ever getting so close to or being such great friends with!

The time I first met Hobbes, I never thought we’d ever strike a chord. Hobbes seemed a very serious, withdrawn person. The kind that is so withdrawn, they barely look up at you when you’re being introduced to them and quickly nod before going back to their work. Uh uh…definitely not the kind who would be friends with someone goofy like me 😀 So well, I maintained a distance, and was always just courteous and polite.

I liked Hobbes, but that was about it. In the meantime, I also heard bits of conversation here and there of Hobbes being this serious person; people seemed to be quite scared of Hobbes, and I saw very few people being comfortable and carefree around Hobbes—cementing my impression of Hobbes as someone who could not easily be “friended”. Well, that impression lasted about a week.

Till I first heard Hobbes laugh. It was a loud, clear, right-from-the heart guffaw. Yes, a guffaw. You have to hear it to know what I mean 😀 Despite not knowing what the joke was or who it was shared with, I found myself looking up and smiling at Hobbes. Well, to be precise, at the back of Hobbes’ head! 😀 And that was when I figured Hobbes out: in an instant. And I liked Hobbes a lot more then 🙂

Only someone that’s completely genuine, sincere, adorable and so full of humour can ever laugh like that. Seriously. Laughter—especially the kind that emanated from Hobbes that day, and many, many times after that—is something that will give away a person’s character immediately: it can tell you who is fake, who is real 🙂 Hobbes was definitely very, very real! I figured I could be myself, goofy and well, just me. The only question was if Hobbes wanted that. Hehe.

You need to know the nuances of laughter to be able to figure people out 😀 When I shared that piece of insight once, Hobbes said “I refuse to laugh like that from now on!” 😀 Well, the damage was done already, my dear 😀 Hobbes once told me “Not everyone retorts to me the way you do. You picked my sense of humour too fast. And I’m not like this to everyone either. I appear serious, proud and very quiet. It’s a facade…kind of a protection that I put around myself.” Well, I’m glad I broke through the facade, and damaged your “aura” (which I still insist on never having noticed :P). I now have a friend for life—and an awesome one at that 😉

When I look back now, I still cannot believe Hobbes and I became friends. I would never have believed it if someone had told me then that Hobbes and I would become such friends someday. I would’ve scoffed, I suppose 😉 But well, we did become friends…though very, very, very gradually.

With Jaya, my best friend—an alter ego, maybe I should say—it took just about 5 minutes for us to bond and become friends for life. Was I not so choosy then, you ask? Well, is it tough to like yourself in 5 minutes? 😉 Anyway, I thought a friend as valuable as that would never come by a second time. I was wrong. I guess 2 really is a good number for me 🙂

Hobbes is perhaps one other person who is equally choosy about friends. I guess we have both had enough experiences that hold us back, make us take our time to fully understand another person before going from ‘just friends’ to ‘great friends’. And now, I can say without a moment’s hesitation that Hobbes is a “great” friend to have.

I’ve seen Hobbes in good times and bad—and I have immeasurable respect for the way Hobbes wades through it all.

Hobbes’ sense of humour and quick wit, for one. It can leave you laughing uncontrollably till you end up gasping for air at times…OR leave you so stunned, you wouldn’t know whether to laugh or just gawk. Spontaneity at its best. Certain conclusions and one-liners Hobbes comes up with are…well…bloody hilarious. Something you just do not expect from a person who appears “serious, proud and very quiet”.

There are times when Hobbes gets washed over by a wave of depression…and I pretend not to understand that and keep insisting that Hobbes smile at least “half a smile” 😀 *Hobbes, I really do understand when you’re in the dumps, but there is nothing I can do to help you at such times. Apart from telling you to smile! Apart from listening and saying “Hmmm”*

There are times when I am pissed off with something and I go crib to Hobbes—knowing very well that my problems are nothing compared to Hobbes’. But well, me being me, I still crib 😀 I could go on and on and on and on, and Hobbes would patiently listen. There would be nothing Hobbes will have to say, to help me, but listen Hobbes will. No questions asked, no judgements made. And all this, while I am just making a mountain out of a miniscule mole hill. 🙂

When it comes to a fault, Hobbes does not see if there’s friendship or enmity. If Hobbes has to blast, Hobbes will blast. Despite being such close friends, I’ve been blasted too (which surprised a few people because we were supposed to be ‘friends’; now who blasts friends, huh?). Well, I do. Hobbes does, too. What are friends for, if they can’t correct you when you’re wrong? If there’s credit to be given, Hobbes gives it generously—again, irrespective of friendship or enmity. I think that’s a fabulous quality: to be able to separate life from work 🙂

If you are a friend, Hobbes will perhaps die for you. Well, not literally, of course. But if you want Hobbes to do something for you, Hobbes will do it, despite perhaps not liking it at all. It always surprises me, because I would never do that! I’ve kidded about certain things, and Hobbes always agreed to do it, even after admitting it may not be the best thing to do. Maybe one should NOT be so fiercely loyal to friends. You never know how loyal your ‘friend’ is to you. *Note the point, Hobbes :)*

There are times when Hobbes deserves a kick—for judging people wrongly, for making the wrong ‘friends’, for trusting the wrong people (repeatedly, at that), for helping the ones who do not deserve to be helped…and in all this process, getting hurt. But well, can’t be helped…because Hobbes is Hobbes. I like that 🙂 *No matter what the other person is or does, you have to be you, Hobbes :)*.

Yes, now that I think about it, I really like that! People come and go, some even walk over Hobbes, leaving bruises…but the next time they need help, Hobbes does not think twice before helping (and most probably getting hurt again). Though I’ve blasted Hobbes for that many times, I think that’s amazing. *Remain so, just stop expecting any gratitude, whatsoever. And I still will blast you the next time you do that :D* In Hobbes’ own words, “You fool me once – you are clever; You fool me twice – I am stupid; Hobbes is not stupid; wow, I like that line”.  I do too 😀 😀

Of course, Hobbes has faults. Well, who doesn’t (except me!), right? Hobbes frets too much about the past; is too perfect and orderly (yes, that’s a fault!); goes into a shell and refuses to talk about it if something upsets Hobbes; does not appreciate telegrams (!); is not a great fan of Calvin & Hobbes despite being christened Hobbes (!!); thinks an i10 is better than a Punto (bah); aaaaaand walks way too fast 😀 😀 Saddest of all, Hobbes does not forgive the mistakes made by self (if they can be called ‘mistakes’, which I personally don’t think is what those are; I think everything is a lesson, a learning, an experience…it makes you one bit stronger, one bit wiser). *You need to get over them, Hobbes. I know it is easier said than done, but you have to. Otherwise, you won’t really get time to make new mistakes 🙂 What’s life without mistakes, to crib over and learn from?*

There are times Hobbes can be absolutely morbid, absolutely mind-numbing and absolutely shocking. I have fallen off my chair quite often at certain things Hobbes said. I’ve laughed sooooo much that I’ve gone so red in the face, making Hobbes all alarmed that something might happen to me. 😀

I’ve also gaped in awe at certain other things. Like the courage, the perseverance, the patience, the sense, the logic. Most importantly, the pure will to survive and succeed.

The most amazing thing, however, is the way Hobbes can get up or down to any age level 😀 Right from 5 to 50 😉 We are capable of being two kids fighting over who is better than the other…and can, in the blink of an eye, be two very mature adults, having a serious discussion on life’s complexities 😀

We have long conversations and longer spells of comfortable silences. I read somewhere “The best kind of friend is one with whom you sit on a bench, saying nothing and when you get up and go, you feel as if you had the best conversation of your life!” Oh, I believe that to the last word now 🙂

*Hobbes, I’m immensely grateful to you for the companionship you gave during some real bad times; for listening to all my cribbing like it was the most important thing at that moment; for guiding me on when I needed directions; for the many, many coffee breaks and walks; for the many deals; for some real impressive pep talks; for the umpteen laughs; for all the mentorship; for cheering me up when I was depressed; for making September 2011 a bearable ordeal; for correcting me when I was wrong; for being a true friend all the time. And most importantly, for being the delight that you are…for being you.* 🙂

Friendship is a rather strange thing. It is not about going out together and ‘having fun’ all the time; it’s not about having weekend trips together; it is not about lavishing gifts on them; it’s not about sitting around a table together and secretly wondering if you have everything your friend has. Most importantly, it’s NOT about being supportive even when your ‘friend’ is obviously wrong: that’s being the goody-goody, I’m-there-for-you-whatever-you-do Samaritan. Friends don’t let each other tread the wrong path.

Friendship is definitely about being there for each other, through good times and bad. But more importantly, it’s about being a critic and a guide. Goof around, have fun, call each other names, pull each other’s legs, land a surprise, lend a shoulder. But when your friend is wrong, have the courage to point it out, help the person correct the wrong and get back into the right. Be an unconditional friend, but be a valuable one first. That’s when you’re a true friend.

Which is why…

TrueFriendsAreHardToComeBy

Guess with Hobbes, I just got damn lucky 🙂

.

P.S.: Hobbes, here’s wishing you a fantastic new beginning that remains fantastic till the end. What you leave behind, is definitely something that is best left behind 🙂

P.S. of P.S.: I’m not to be held responsible if being known as “Hobbes” does further damage to your “aura” 😀 😀

P.S. of P.S. of P.S.: I still insist: there is no aura 😀 😛

Advertisements

54 thoughts on “True friends are hard to come by!

  1. good that u dint put a ***LONG POST*** disclaimer on the top. might have given it a miss and would not have realized what i could have missed! After reading it, i felt like i was standing with a cup of tea overlooking the estates of Munnar, from a guest house portico, of course, with my friend, content and silent.
    thanks a lot for that momentary apparition. My office no longer seems gray today. 😀
    I’ve had both friendships to cherish; the “becoming a friend in 5 (long) minutes type” and “taking 5 years to become a friend” type. the contrast makes you wonder how such vastly different phenomenon could happen with the same subject: you.
    PS : I am guessing Hobbes is a male. If u have mentioned a He/She somewhere, then I’ve certainly missed it.

  2. Sometimes we find friendship in the most unsual person as in the person we least expected to be frenz with 🙂

    Cheers to your lovely friendship & good wishes to Hobbes for whatever he embarking on 🙂

  3. “I appear serious, proud and very quiet. It’s a facade…kind of a protection that I put around myself.”” Tch Tch, Hobbes. 😀

    But seriously, a truly beautiful article (and completely worth the 45 mins it took to read! 😀 :D) about a beautiful friendship with a wonderful person. And, on a personal note, gives yours truly plenty to think about as well as far as his “friendships” are concerned.

    Btw, you forgot to mention one small fact. Hobbes is completely ignorant about cars. Proof? He thinks an i10 is better than a Ford Ikon 1.6 too. (BAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!) 🙂

    • Welcome, Rovis 🙂

      ROFL. Yea, it is quite funny, considering how “quiet” that bay is 😀

      Thanks 🙂 And you took 45 minutes to read this? Do you realise it was not for ‘mentor review’ at all? 😀 😀 Btw, who is the wonderful person here? Hobbes, or me? 😀
      And, ouch. I don’t know what to say to that except the usual “Hmmmm” 🙂

      Oh yea…I shall agree with you there. if Hobbes thinks the i10 is better than a Punto, that itself says a lot about his knowledge of cars 😀

  4. Whoa!!! I couldn’t understand a lot of things in that post…. But then to understand the posts like one you have written above needs a lot in terms of understanding the person…

    Given that you had so much to write in such a beautiful flow about your friends Hobbes and you is a testimony to how deep your friendship is. Kudos to you and Hobbes and wish the spirit of this true friendship in you never die.

  5. aaaraanaa puli ??? 😛 😛 😛 (Puli here refers to tiger and also that ‘sambhavam’ according to suraj’s language !)

    inganathey oru essay ezhuditharaaan enikku aarum illallo !! cheyy !!! bhaagyam cheyydaa aa puli ! Thu Thu Thu…. (ningalude friendship inu kannu thattaadirikkaan moonnu praavashyam thuppi; laptop vrithikedaayi )

    stay the same, both of you 🙂

    • Oru puliyaa 😉
      Btw…what’s this ‘sambhavam’ in suraj’s language? Manassilaayilla enikku…

      Dukhichotto…enne kaliyaakkiyum cheetha paranjum ennodu thallukoodiyum ente kaaluvaariyum kalanja samayathu ennodu nalla naalu varthamaanam…er er…i mean nalla manassu kaanichirunnel njaan CHILAPPO ezhuthiyene about you 😀 😀

      And pls…dont dirty my blog…vere evidelum poi thuppi kalichaa mathi…Titanic’s deck would be a good place 😀 😀

      Thaaaaanks, we shall 🙂

      • sorry, my mistake ! I shouldve mentioned suraaj venjaaramoodu ! didnt realise that you actually had a suraj in ur life ! 😀 😀 😀

        ho, njaan ningalude aduthu ethra decent aanennu ariyo ? seriously!!! njaan mahaa tharaa yaa mattulavarude aduthu 😀 😀 😀 😀

        ‘thaaaanks, we shall’ polum !! ahankaari !!! 😛

        • ROFL! R.O.F.L. !! You yourself are a mistake. Accepted 😀

          Your second line actually sounds like Suraaj Venjaaramoodu!! Big fan, huh? 😀 😀 That you are a thara enningane urakke vilichu parayano? Njaan maathram arinjaal pore? Like I didn’t know already 😀 😛

          Hahahaha…pinnallaathe? 😛 😛 we shall also stay the same 😉

  6. Such a nice definition for friendship.. Initially was thinking its Suraj… 🙂 Please don’t leave us to guess 🙂 Really like the post … I think hobbes will be speechless reading this post rght? what more a friend can do ..A true dedication for a true friend straight from the heart 🙂 I second vimmu.. arum illallo nammale kurichu ingane post ezhuthan hahhahah 🙂 Phagyavannnnnnnnnnnnn

    • Hehehe…thanks di 🙂
      Surajine patti already ezhuthile…intro-ing him 😉 pinne why would i call him hobbes again mandeeeee 😀 😛
      And yea, the guessing game is over. lol. link cheythu ketto? ini theri vilikkanda…ssshedaaa…
      Thanks 😉 and i third vimmuuu and you — enne patteem ingane ezhuthaan aarumilla. sigh 😦

  7. LOL!!! guess even before i started reading i knew the Hobbes coming 😉 coudnt help but imagine cauliflowers’s face as she was reading this blog 😀 😀 😀 hope u knw who cauliflower is – if u have doubts – think of each ones head n our team and guess which fits the bill 😉

  8. Priyachechi 🙂 Its simply mindblowing! Couldnt help but tell you, this has helped me overcome a really sad interface in my life. Far away from home, living in Delhi winter, ditched by those whom i thought were life long friends( coz of the 3-4 years we studied/partied hard), the biggest lesson i learned. As u said, people come and go, u juz have to make the right choice. Thanks for uploading it. I m a fan! 😉 Give Hobbes my regards! 😀

    • Daaarrrling 🙂 so good to have you in here 🙂

      I’m real sad to know you were in a bad phase…and glad to have been of some help. My number is still the same…so is ajuchettan’s 😉 Anytime you need a friend — two true friends 😉 — we’re just a call away 🙂

      Don’t you worry girl…they just never deserved you. signs of better ones to come along 🙂 What you leave behind, is definitely something that is best left behind. Trust me. 🙂

      And you’re my fan now!? Whoa. I thought only the holy Dravid has that privilege 😀
      Have conveyed your regards 🙂

  9. Pingback: the mobile phone and me… « AlphabetWorld!

  10. If Hobbes has to blast, Hobbes will blast.
    Hobbes does not think twice before helping
    Hobbes seemed a very serious, withdrawn person.

    Hmmm…why does this sound familiar, now? Guess I know the person u r talking about 😉

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s